Trigger Warning: A Phanfic

12

Phil
As soon as I realized what was happening I had immediate regret. Sure, Dan was bisexual, but he just told me he has feelings for someone. That someone could be anyone, and most likely not me. After all he had thought that I was just a metrosexual guy after all these years.

"I'm sorry," I squeaked out. I could feel tears filling my eyes and spilling out of my cheeks. I got up from the bed, leaving all of my things behind, running out of Dan's room. How could I have been so stupid? What if I had just caused something in Dan's relationship?

Fuck, Phil. Way to fuck up everything of yours with Dan.

I scratched at my arms, ripping open the scabs on my arm.

Everything was moving so fast.

Fag. Stupid. Ugly. You are NOT fucking gay. You will NOT show anybody that shit.

My eyes blurred through tears but I somehow caught a glimpse of something shining laying on my desk. I stumbled as I walked towards it, knocking down some books and other things that had been on my dresser. I looked on the desk's top to see Dan's utility paper knife. He must have left it in my room before. I picked it up.

You deserve to hurt.

I heard a knock at my door and Dan's mumbling voice.

Don't let him in.

I opened the blade, it was silver. It looked almost brand new.

"Leave me alone, Dan." I said, my voice high pitched as I tried to hold back tears.

"Let me in." He said, his voice shook as he spoke. I tried my best to ignore it.

Kill yourself.

Kill yourself.

Kill yourself.

The voices became louder than ever. They were louder than anything at that point. I was alone with my thoughts.

Kill yourself.

I lifted my arm up, placing the blade directly on the front of my wrist. I closed my eyes and pressed down hard, making such a deep cut longways down my arm. I opened them, watching as my arm was now completely red, not a spot clean from blood.

"I love you, Dan." I whispered as I began to feel my life fade away.
~