soul switch│ j.jk ✔

n i n e

[ yeontan on the media to bless yall ]

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my heart was thumping loudly inside my chest.

no way. no way.

kim taehyung, the guy whom i liked since elementary. the guy who suddenly left me at the start of fifth grade without saying goodbye.

he is, no doubt, here inside the classroom, breathing the same cold air, listening to the same professor, and sitting a few seats away from me.

“may i request everyone to stand up and stand here in front,” mr. stone said and he cleared his throat, “we will have your permanent ‘alphabetical’ sitting arrangements to make attendance checking much easier. this will be your arrangement for all the subjects, unless a teacher changes it.” oh god no.

in no way am i sitting beside taehyung. no fucking way. i can't. i just can't yet.

yeah, i am—i won't deny—more than happy that taehyung is back and that he is my classmate once again. maybe it's just me overthinking things but it's all too sudden my mind can't keep up. my mind couldn't process the happenings yet and it hasn't sinked in.

just let the number of students be odd and that i have a classmate whose surname starts with the letter ‘l’.

i was silently praying as my classmates were called one by one. clover was on the second row because her surname starts with ‘c’.

“ledyiann? anyone with the surname ledyiann?” i almost sighed out loud as a surname with the letter ‘l’ was mentioned but no one was showing up. panic was rising up inside me again. when mr. stone was about to leave a seat for ledyiann, a teacher slid the door open and talked to mr. stone. i couldn't understand what they were talking about but it seems important.

“okay, ledyiann has transferred classes so we'll proceed with letter ‘m’.” mr. stone said with a shrug then adjusted his glasses and called my surname.

oh god. this is one of the rarest cases that i don't have a classmate whose surname starts with letter l. my legs felt like jelly as my surname was called and i walked towards my doomed seat.

when all the girls have been seated to their respective seats, it was the boys' turn. i was sweating profusely even with the aircondition on. i wanted the ground to open up and swallow me without second thoughts. or could mr. stone do the honour and open the window for me to jump.

“kim taehyung. sit beside matsuoka.” that's it. that's enough to sent me scurrying away from this room. the pressure and the  atmosphere was just too much. taehyung looked at my way but i quickly looked away. i tried my best to not meet his gaze but the feeling of someone looking at you was just too much.

i straightened my posture and looked straight ahead but kim taehyung's presence was powerful to not even notice. i gulped and tried my best to hide my panic. when we were in elementary, taehyung would usually pinch both my cheeks when he would arrive. but now, everything has changed.

i never changed but i don't know if he has. the atmosphere has changed, the spaces between us grew farther apart and i'll never know if we'll ever close the distance.

i felt his gaze boring through me though i wasn't looking his way. i sighed as i mentally tried to calm myself down.

all throughout mr. stone's discussion, i didn't understand a thing. i couldn't at all. my focus wasn't on him. it's as if mr. stone's voice was just another noise in the background. what's messing up my already messed up mind was taehyung. he kept glancing at me. his long thin fingers kept spinning the pen he was holding.

when the bell rang, everyone raced towards the door, itching to get out of the room to chitchat and grab some snacks at the school cafeteria and then to our next subject. i quickly stood up and arranged my things, never looking anywhere but my bag. in my peripheral vision, taehyung has left along with his guy friend. i silently thanked sweet heavens for making taehyung leave first.

exactly after i walked out of the door to meet with clover, i bumped into somebody. i did not dare look up in fear of who i bumped into because i already have an idea of who he was. i just murmured a stupid “i'm sorry.” and was about to steer away when that particular person held my arm, stopping me from my tracks and preventing me from escaping. from running away.

“eru.” at the mention of my name, my heart clenched, my chest ached, and something churned inside my stomach that made me want to puke.

the voice was so much different from what i used to remember. it changed so much. it was much more deeper. the feel of his hand against my skin changed, too. no longer was his hands chubby.

i can't face him now. i'm not ready yet. it may seem a little exaggerated but i might suddenly break down. i just.. can't.

“eru.” he spoke my name again that made my heart thump wildly in my chest and made my knees weaken and become unsure if it could still support the overall weight of my body. this time, i slowly turned around, preparing myself to whatever i might see.

and my thirst for almost six years was quenched. when i turned around, a different person was in front of me. not the little kid i used to play with. not the kid who frequently teased me. not the kid who always pinched my cheeks.

a different version of kim taehyung was in front of me now.

gone was the little chubby taehyung i used to backhug and to friendly kiss on the cheeks.

he was so different from what i used to remember him.

“taehyung.”

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