Never There ~ A Jelsa Story~

Eleven; Confessions

Another Warning. If you are a Jelsa fan, I strongly advice you to take this chapter                               S   L    O     W    L     Y.    Or not at all (you can see if you like it though).

I sat next to Jack's hospital bed and I tried to tell him that I didn't want any of this but he wasn't listening. 

"Elsa Oldenburg, I'm beginning to think that you aren't like a rose after all. Was this your plan? To lure me into your stupid fantasy world and then ruin my life for months? I don't want you to be here, I want my real friends."

I tried not to sob and whispered, "A-a-are you..."

"I don't want to see you again, Elsa, I've told you already. Yes, it's exactly what you think. Go away, please."

He had a right to break up with me. I had been horrible to him. I nodded, biting my lip, trying to hold my rushing rivers in. "If that is what you would like, I will give it to you. And I give all my best wishes with you as well, and I will never forget my crime." I leave the room, glancing back to see if Jack might change his mind. "I loved you more than anything else I have ever loved." 

I mournfully spend my days around my house, each day only eating a few grapes. I figured that I now knew what it felt like to be heartbroken. Of course, when that cute boy Flynn was torn away from me I was sad, but I guess then my heart was split a little, but with cream and plasters, or love, it healed. Now my heart was shattered and the only way to fix it was to pick up each piece and glue them back together, but even so there would be scar left.

I realised that I had hit rock bottom. I hated myself and I wasn't eating or drinking properly, and I didn't know the exact statistics but I knew I couldn't carry on having grapes for every meal - if I wasn't didn't die from sadness, I would die from lack of food in a week or so. With trembling fingers, I reached for my phone and typed a message to Belle. If anyone could help me now, it would be Belle or Jack. And Jack's out of the picture. 

Belle? It's Elsa. Please read this. It's urgent. If you don't answer, and you're reading this in a month from now, I'll be a bag of bones. See? Please answer. I need you. I'm heartbroken. I don't eat anymore. I don't drink, apart from a few grapes. Please, Belle, you're the only one who can save me now. Thanks for reading, I guess. Elsa x

I stared at the screen. What would I do if I received this text? I would sit down with the person, maybe give them a cuddle or do. And, then, we would phone a professional to let them know and in a few months, the person would be back to their old self. I sent it and waited for a reply. Nothing came. I waited for hours. Still nothing. What if she had read it already, and had decided to let me do my own thing. It was a horrible thought. Suppose she did want me to die. The girl I thought was my best friend in the whole world. 

I went to bed in the clothes I had on. I don't think I'll be changing my clothes for bed anytime soon. I took my phone with me. Just in case. I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing. I looked at the caller. Suppose it was Jack, saying that he still loved me? Or Belle, saying that she didn't want me to go, not ever. Or the hospital, with bad or good news. I looked at the caller. It was Anna. I gulped. I hadn't thought of going to my sister. Maybe she would say that she never really liked Kristoff and maybe she would care for me and give me everything I needed. Or maybe she would shrug and say that my era had come to and end, and that if I wanted to go, I could go, and she wouldn't mind. I ended up answering and I heard a familiar voice on the phone.

"Hello, like, how are you today?" she said, in a stupid haughty voice.

"I'm..." I paused. It would be a complete lie to say I was alright. Maybe I could be a little dramatic? I wanted to see what she would say... "About to die."

"What?" Anna replied, her voice changing to a serious tone, "I mean, Elsa, please, stop playing these pretend games. Of course you aren't going to die!"

"Would you have said that if mother and father said the same thing a few days ago?"

There was silence for a few moments. She would have said that, and she knew it. "That - that's different. You don't know about those kind of things. But you do know if you are safe in your own home."

"Listen, Anna, I have an eating disorder, and I hate myself..."

"Are you saying that you want to harm yourself?" she answered quietly, and I started to cry.

"Yes! Yes! Anna, what am I going to do?"

"Stay there, I'm coming, sis, don't do anything stupid, okay?" she asked, and I feel like the younger sister again.

I felt like exaggerating a bit again... "I won't, hurry, Anna... my hand can't stop itself from trying to reach... things..." 

"What? OK, you stay on the phone, I'll tell Kristoff that he has to drive... Kristoff? Come now! Elsa is dying, I need you to give me a lift to her place now!" I smiled slightly. Yes, that was something we both had in common. We told little fibs to get our own way.

"OK, love, I'm coming..." 

They eventually reached me and luckily, Anna had a spare key so she entered and ran to find me as quickly as she could. All she could find was a little note on the stairs. Two words, that was it.

I'm sorry.