Never There ~ A Jelsa Story~

Thirty One; Telling My Friends and Family

Hello! If you are still here, I imagine that you didn't pass out. I'm excited to find out your reaction to chapter 30, because at the time I am writing this, I've only just published chapter 27. Anyway, comment on this part of the story what gender you want Michael + Elsa's baby to be! And did you guess that Elsa was pregnant before Elsa admitted to Jack that she was? Did you guess before Jack guessed himself? Let me know here ;) 

"I need to tell you the truth, Elsa, even if you are having a new life with Michael. Doesn't he already have 2 kids? So now there's going to be 7 children in that place?"

"We'll manage," I reply, coolly. I know that Jack isn't too happy that I'm pregnant with Michael's baby, but I hope that we can still be friends.

"If I had said this 3 years ago, we would still be together. But anyway, you know that Punzie was my new colleague? Well, she basically challenged me to a drinking contest. And she made me completely drunk, and then when she kissed me, she said that the only way that I would be able to keep you was to go out with her, or she would tell you that I had been doing much worse things than a few kisses. I hated her at that point, but I couldn't go back. I can't lie to you, Elsa, when it was going on for more than 2 years, I started wondering what the point was. I was so miserable thinking that you would find out, I thought that I might as well have a good time, just in case. I'm honestly sorry, Elsa."

My eyes mist up with tears. The past few years I have spent trying to love Jack, but believing he didn't love be back. So, it was all just one simple white lie. But I can't go back. He should have told me the truth. He didn't. Michael doesn't lie to me. "I'm sorry that I misunderstood, but you should have said. It's too late now, Jack. But can we be friends?"

He looks down. I can see that he is regretting ever meeting Punzie. "Sure." He smiles suddenly. "I remember how it was like a few years ago. You said that then, right? And then you kissed me. I know, I know, you won't now, but remembering you like that helps me deal with the tragic pain of losing you."

"When I look at my little sweetheart in 7 months, I'll think of you," I tell him, "It's Mikey's baby, sure, but still, after we had 4 kids together, I can hardly forget you, can I? Anyway, there's Flee. Oh no, she's found someone! I had better tell them that I'm fine. I'm glad that I had the chance to say goodbye properly to you. If you had died, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself."

I smile and stand up. "Ouch, I've forgotten what it's like!" 

~~~

Once I'm back, I have to go into the bathroom quickly. Morning sickness is here, it's actually the vomiting part now, not just nausea like before. I run the tap to disguise it the sound, but it's not enough, because suddenly the door opens. 

"Ellie? What's going on?" Lily asks, and I stand up. 

"I'm sorry, Lils, I didn't think you would mind... do you?"

"I don't follow."

"Of course, you haven't had them yet, have you? Well... you must have heart of morning sickness?"

"Ellie, don't treat me like a child! I tried to think that you wouldn't go behind my back! Don't you think I saw that stupid test stuffed in that bin? I've been pretending I don't know!"

"Lily, you have Eugene now!"

"Yes, I do."

"So, why do you care so much?" I challenge her, "You can easily get your own kids!"

"Ellie, that's the thing! I can't! No matter how hard I try, I can't have children. I tried it with Michael all the time, but I was never pregnant. I've tried it with Eugene, it still doesn't work. It's me, Ellie! It's why Mikey was fed up with me! I haven't told Eugene yet. He's the type who would think that it's not worth it. Why do I even bother with these stupid men? You're so lucky, Ellie, you've had 4 and another on the way. Even if I was pregnant, I'd probably have a miscarriage."

"Lily, I had no idea. I'm sorry. But Michael already had children with Kiki, so why did he have to have more?"

"Well... Kiki died giving birth to Jade, so he felt lonely. Then he met me a few months after. He wanted to have another child to make up for the sadness of losing Kiki. When we found out I couldn't have children, he was upset, but I convinced him that we already had Jade and Tom, and that was enough. Then Michael met you, and he saw that you had four kids already. And then he knew that you would be better for him than me. He said to me that the relationship wouldn't last forever, and I agreed, but then when you came so soon... it was horrible. By the way, have you told Michael you're pregnant yet? I mean, you probably have, of course... What did he say?"

"I haven't told him," I confess, "And after what you've been saying, I'm scared to... I can't hide it much longer though. Before, my morning sickness wasn't too bad, it was just me feeling a bit rubbish, but now I'm being sick, it will be much harder."

"You shouldn't be scared to tell him, Ellie, you really shouldn't. Do you really want to live your life like that?" Lily asks me, and suddenly I think she might be right. Maybe Michael isn't the type for me. If I refuse to have any other kids, what might he say? I've had 4 pregnancies, and they've all been terrible. I couldn't do it again, it hurts and therefore drains the life out of me. 5 is the limit for me, I think, at least for the moment. I've had 4 in 5 years, it's enough right now. 

What can I do?

Comment here with some advice for Elsa! What should she do?