Never There ~ A Jelsa Story~

Thirty Four; Falling Apart

I turn towards the kids' school and smile. Despite everything, I always am excited to meet my children and Michael's too. I see all the parents who I knew before, all the people I used to be friends with. I don't know what happened exactly, but after I left Jack, I haven't really talked to anyone. Now that I think about it, the only friend I have actually talked to in the past few months was Lily, and that was because she was staying at my house. 

Flee and her dad went back to their old house a few days ago, and so I have been lonely. The kids are great, but I keep thinking about what it will be like when the other one is here. Maybe Michael was keeping me in? I haven't been out for ages. I have been confined to my house as if I am some princess in a tower. It's horrible. Maybe they should a story about my life? The perfect girl who grew up to love a boy just like her? Well, that's not true. My sister and I used to write stories about ourselves all the time. We imagined that we had magical powers. Back then, all I wore was blue, so Anna said I was the ice queen. Anna loved summer, so we joked that Anna could make anything flowery and hot. She won't do that now. She'll hate me forever, if she can, that is. 

I think back to when I first met Jack. Anna was cold on me then. And I really did mind that. But I didn't want to die because of it. 

I arrive at the classroom and smile as Tyler runs over to me. The teacher grins at me. "He's doing very well. He painted an amazing picture for you this afternoon!"

"Mummy, mummy, look!" Tyler says, and I take the painting from his hands. It has 9 stick figures on it. There are 5 small people. One has light brown hair (Tyler), two look alike with blonde hair (Amber + Maya), one has ginger hair (Jade) and one has black hair (Tom). I look at the adults. One has very light blonde hair (me) and she is cuddling another man with blonde hair (Michael). I see a lady with brown hair, which I can tell is Lily, but I am confused at the last one. He has light blonde hair and has very big teardrops falling from his face.  

"It's lovely, darling! Who is this?" I ask but I don't want to know the answer. I already know who the last figure is.

"It is Daddy!" Tyler says, and I nod. Daddy. Not Daddy Michael. Daddy Jack. So Tyler still wants Jack. But does Jack still want me? In this picture he does. What about real life?

"Why have you painted Jack?"

"He's our family! I drew our family!" I look at 2 scribbled words. Our family. He is Tyler's family. But he isn't mine, is he? Not anymore. 

"Yes, you did. But Jack isn't our family. He doesn't love us anymore. Jack left us, for Rapunzel, remember? Anyway, we need to get to my old school. I'm going to meet an old friend of mine. Now let's get Tom and the others and get there! OK?" Tyler nods, but I can see that he is disappointed. Of course, he is. He doesn't want our family to fall apart. But it already has. There isn't anything we can do, not anymore.