There once was a cheery little child that loved apples. He wasn't very smart. He was so stupid he traded in a apple tree for apple seeds. He thought that the seeds would grow faster than the tree. He planted the seeds and waited and waited and waited but nothing happened. He waited until he turned 45, still nothing happened. Then he realized he forgot to water them. The boy now man, got in his knees and screamed into the unloving sky, where his cries of anguish would meet no one's ears. "WHY ARE THESE APPLE SEEDS BALONEY?!" He bellowed. The sky responded by dropping a single rain drop in his face. And so the sky said, "I might be blue, but I'm not deaf". "Here's your stupid water you poor pathetic shell of an animal of a man". Suddenly an entire ocean fell from the sky; fish and all. The man started to drown because he has never seen water before, despite the fact that he knew water was needed to grow trees. As the man struggled to stay afloat he had one image in his mind, his childhood friend, Sasha who left him to become the CEO of apple Corp; like apple but instead of phones, they make apples infused with cocaine. He reached into his pocket and to his glorious luck, he found an apple infused with cocaine that Sasha gave to him before she left. He then proceeded to take out a drinking straw and snort the apple underwater. Being the delusional dumbass he is, he gets high. With cocaine and sea water up his nose, he gains the ability to swim. His body began to shake and his shaking caused his body to propel him out of the water. Actually the shaking propelled him into the air where he flew off into the sunset. Many days have passed but he's high off his ass; high as a kite, literally and metaphorically. As he rose higher and higher and higher into the air, he realized that he forgot his one true purpose. He needed to grow that apple tree. Thinking on his feet, he figured out the best way to get down on land, well ocean. To sober up and get return back to his shit reality, cause at this point he's still high as hell dude; far out man. He wakes up with a start, this sad old 45 year old man, forgot 45 years of his life due to apple Corp. he sighs and shrugs, "eh" he says as he pulls out another apple and a drinking straw to go back to his dreams. In his dream he meets the apple god, god of all apples Shell Silverstein. Shell uses almighty cocaine apple powers, to grant this poor apples mans dream, to burn in apple hell, where all apples are cocaine apples. THE END.
