Multifandom Imagines

Better Off Dead || Newt

She says she wants to end it all when she's all alone in her room
She cries

I can't do this anymore. I don't have the strength to do this. I tried to be strong for him. But he's been unconscious for two days after the fall and I can't live without him. Plus, I hate to even think of acknowledging it but I really don't know if he'll wake up. If he'll come back.
The way she feels inside is too much for her
I can't take it. My mind is screaming for help, begging for his voice, his touch but I can't have that because he is laying in the med-jack hut unconscious, just barely breathing.

When all you got is these four walls
It's not that hard to feel so small
Or even exist at all

It's been about a year since we got here and the runners have found nothing. It feels like the dreary grey walls are slowly closing in and are going to eventually kill us. We haven't found anything outside of the maze. Maybe the people who put us here want us to stay here, to never leave... But I can't do that! It's driving me insane and I need to get out.

How come no one heard when she said
Maybe I'm better off dead
If I was would it finally be enough
To shut out all those voices in my head?
Am I really going to stay here? Maybe Newt had the right idea... Maybe I should.... No I have to believe that he'll survive. I have to believe I'll be able to see and hear him again.
Maybe I'm better off dead
Better off dead!
Did you hear a word I said?
This is not where I belong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

I'm sat with Minho and I as I have these thoughts, I voice them as I pace around the hut. I turn to look at Minho, ask him what I should do and he simply asks 'What?'.

No-one pays attention to me, and the one person who cared for me is unconscious. I really should leave. They don't need me here.

Gone, gone
This is not where I belong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
She doesn't know she's beautiful
Because no one's ever told her so
And the demons that she has is all she knows

No-one in the Glade has ever really liked me. Gally thinks I'm trouble and majority of the others follow his lead. The only people who ignore him are Newt, Chuck and sometimes Minho. I've always been isolated being the only girl. When I first came here, lots of the boys made fun of my appearance because I wasn't what they thought a girl would look like. I didn't meet there expectations. I start running towards the maze and like usual, the gladers don't even glance my way. Minho is left daydreaming in the med-jack hut as I run through the maze entrance.

And maybe she can fall in love with someone in her life that she could trust
And tell her she's enough
There's only one person I care about and that person is basically in coma, struggling to survive. No-one loves me. No-one cares...
How come no-one heard her when she said
Maybe I'm better off dead
If I was would it finally be enough
To shut out all the voices in my head?
Maybe I'm better off dead
Better off dead!
Did you hear a word
Hear a word I said?
This is not where I belong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

I reach the wall where we found him. Then...
I begin the climb

(Newt's P.O.V)

My eyes flutter open as I slowly (and painfully) sit up. I groan from the pain and catch the attention of the daydreaming Minho that is sat at the side of my bed.

"Newt! Are you ok?!" Minho frantically asks me.
I can't form a response because I very quickly notice that Y/N wasn't in the room.
"Where's Y/N?" I inquire.
"I don't know. She was rambling on about how she's 'better off dead' because she needs you and because you've been out for like 2 days she was losing hope in you waking up. So then she ran out with tears in her eyes" he says calmly.
"AND YOU DIDN'T STOP HER?!" I scream.
Minho abruptly looks up with fear spread across his face as he look shocked because I raised my voice.
"WELL?! Do you have an explanation!?" I ask.
"N-n-n-no..." he stutters.
"I have to go find her" I say, grimacing as I stand up but I quickly fall back down as my ankle gives way.
"You aren't going anywhere. I'll go see if the guys saw where she went" Minho suggests.
"Yeah ok" I mumble as I sit back down on the bed.

Bloody hell Y/N, where have you gone?

(Y/N's P.O.V)

This is not where I belong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

I don't belong in the Glade, I belong in the maze. I deserve to die, I'm going to end up dying anyway. I don't have a significant role in the Glade. No-one needs me.

When all you got is these four walls
It's not hard to feel so small
When all you got is these four walls
It's not hard to feel so small
All she wanted was to be enough
All she wanted was to be enough
So what does it take?
Maybe it's not too late
Yeah no-one heard her when she said

No-one cares. Would it kill anyone to care? Clearly no-one has noticed my disappearance. No-one's come to find me. No-one will.

(Newt's P.O.V)

I am freaking out. But I can't do anything because I've got a piece of klunk for a leg. I need to get out, I need to find Y/N. Now. Before she does anything she really doesn't want to do. No-one knows where she went and it's beginning to scare me. No-one's come back with news of where she went. I am terrified.

(Y/n's P.O.V)

Maybe I'm better off dead
If I was would it finally be enough
To shut all the voices in my head?
Maybe I'm better of dead
Better off dead!
Did you hear a word
Hear a word I said?
This is not where I belong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
Gone, gone

This is not where I belong
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone
Gone, gone
This is not where I belong

You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

I've climbed the walls now. The ivy just about makes it to the top so I manage to stand on top of the walls, taking in the disturbingly beautiful view of the glade and the maze. This is it. It's gonna finally be over. Finally I can...

(Newt's P.O.V)

Minho rushes into the hut and skids to a stop. He looks up at me and I give him a questioning look. He shakes his head to signal that what he is about to tell me isn't good. 'Some shank saw her run into the maze' he breathes. My eyes widen. No. No she couldn't. She wouldn't She had talked about it before but I never thought she really would.

I choke back silent tears as I scream hoarsely "GO AND FIND HER NOW!".

Minho looks taken aback by my screaming but instantly runs out of the med-jack hut and into the maze. Please don't do it Y/N. I need you...

(Y/N's P.O.V)

I can't bring myself to do it. I don't know whether I should. I feel like I lost hope too quickly. What if he has woken up while I was gone? I slowly begin to climb down as I hear rapid footsteps come towards me.

"Y/N!" someone shouts.

I jump, frightened by the voice and next thing I knew I could barely move....