otherside ➳ post malone

11 - (o)

i feel like i'm drowning // two feet

"Everyone is making such a big deal out of this," Randy huffed, scrolling through Twitter on her phone. "It's a damn follow. Not a proposal."

"Yeah, I don't know," I sighed, throwing my phone to the side as we sat on her bed. I was worried but I didn't want to show it. But Randy seen right through me.

"Don't worry about this," she said, popping a piece of watermelon into her mouth and then handing me one. "It's not what it seems."

"Thanks," I smiled slightly, taking the piece of watermelon. "Can't help but worry though."

"Maybe you should talk to him," She suggested, laying down. I laid down beside her, not bothering to move my hair that had scattered on my face.

"We're supposed to be on a break," I looked over at her. She shrugged at me and then I looked back at the ceiling. "I don't even know what I'd say."

"Tell him you miss him," She said. "He misses you, too. I know it."

"I don't want him to feel like I'm pushing him away," I folded my hands and rested them on my stomach.

"That's exactly what you're doing, O," she sat up abruptly. "And I know you don't want to hear it, but this is your fault. It's your fault you're missing him right now."

I sat up slowly, looking at her shocked. I wasn't mad because she was right. 100% right. It was my fault. But it felt right.

I got off of the bed and walked into the bathroom, wiping the one tear that had fallen. I had to work up the courage to call Austin. I checked the time, seeing it was 11:49 where he was.

Maybe he was back at his hotel. Or maybe he was out with a girl. Shut up, Olivia! You're making it worse.

I clicked on my contacts, Austin's name the first one I seen. I hovered over it and finally clicked it, the line ringing instantly. My hands were shaking and sweating. I had no idea why I was so nervous.

"Olivia," Austin breathed as he answered the phone. "Hi."

"Hi," I said back to him. The tension was real between us and it felt like I didn't even know him.

"Uh, why are you- um, what's up?" He asked. I knew he was trying to ask why I was calling.

"I just wanted to tell you that I miss you," I admitted, shedding a tear. "And I'm sorry I fucked things up between us."

"I miss you too," he told me. "But I agree with you. It's tough being on tour and dealing with a relationship."

"Dealing with it?" I felt my chest literally ache. "I'm so sorry for being a problem."

"Olivia, I didn't mean it like that and you know it," he huffed. "If you called me just to start a fight, I'm really not in the mood right now."

"I called you to tell you I love and miss you and try to fix our obviously broken relationship but you don't seem to care to do that," I told him. I knew Randy could hear me because I wasn't exactly being quiet.

"I love you, Liv. More than anything," He told me and my chest fluttered. "But you were right about this not working out right now. I'll be home soon though and maybe it will work then."

"Maybe it will work? We were fine before you left for tour, Austin! So please stop acting like it's my fault," I said and I could feel him roll his eyes.

"I know that, Olivia," He huffed at me. "But things have changed now. You've changed."

"I've changed, huh? Says the one that is giving up on something that, just a month ago, he said makes him the happiest," I sighed, shaking my head as the tears started to flow.

"You don't get to just tell me we need a break and then decided we don't anymore," He said as I wiped my tears and pushed my hair back from my face. "I finally realized, after days upon days of being sad, that you're right. We do need time apart. To let me live my life and to let you live yours."

"Can't you see that you are my damn life, Austin?" I raised my voice and then there was silence. "That every thought that fills my head is consumed by you? That everything I see or do takes me back to a time I didn't have to worry about losing you?"

"You aren't losing me, Liv," he said quietly. "I'll let you know when I'm back in LA."

"Yeah," I nodded, crying profusely now. "In the mean time, have fun with Lily."

"I knew this would fucking happen," He grunted. "Can you stop fucking listening to people, Olivia? I followed her because I spilled food on her at a hotel. She doesn't even talk to me."

"I didn't talk to you but you still chased after me," I chuckled exhaustingly. Because I was tired of fighting.

"I sure did. And it was the best thing I have ever done," He told me immediately. He made my heart smile. "And when I chased after you, I didn't have a girl that I loved with my entire being waiting on me to get home. Did I?"

"I love you," I sighed. "And whatever or whoever you do while on tour, just don't tell me about it. Ever."

"Stop being like that," he huffed for what seemed like the millionth time. I guess I am pretty annoying. "Nothing is going to happen. I love you, Olivia McNeil. Forever."

a/n: austin performed with aerosmith tonight on the vmas!! olivia would be so proud. 😂