OBSIDIAN ISSUE #2 : WOUNDED

TWO

Umingit ang gripo sa aking pag-ikot na siyang tumapos sa agos ng tubig. The remnants of the fast rush fell into drops which the sound echoed against the white bathroom walls. Pormal kong kinuha ang face towel sa tabi at dinampi sa basa kong bibig. I looked fresh, the glass of vanity says, but it never revealed what's within; The stilll abiding acid in my mouth scratching on my teeth.

I have eaten too much again. Kaarawan ng isa sa mga kaibigan ko kaya hindi ako makatanggi. I could have but it's rude. Isa pa, ayaw kong magtaka sila sa tuwing tumatanggi ako. They have seen me skip lunches way too many times. I wouldn't let this one time to reveal my condition. I am not proud of it.

"D, tapos ka na ba?" Kumakatok si Nigheisha sa pinto. The birthday celebrant.

Nataranta ako at hindi magkandaapuhap na kinuha ang aking cologne sa bag. I quickly sprayed some scent around me in the hopes of hiding the smell of my pre-digested insides. Binuksan ko ang pinto at nanumbalik din sa mga gamit ko sa sink.

"Okay ka lang? Parang dumuduwal ka,a?" aniya habang pinasok ang isa sa mga cubicle.

I schooled the face of denial. Umiling ako, kinukunutan ang pag-zipper ng bag ko. "Nabusog lang ako. I'm fine. Thank you pala sa libre."

Hindi na siya nagsalita. I just heard a tearing sound from where she's at, iyong parang papel na tinatanggal sa likod ng napkin. Huminga ako nang malalim at sinandal ang likod sa counter, pinanood ang iilang dumadaan na estudiyante at may sumasabit na rin sa cr. I received fleeting looks from people I don't know at ngumingiti lang sa akin dahil sa sinabi ng kasama nila.

My face heated. Lumisan ang mga mata ko sa labas para uwian ng pagtutok ang aking sapatos. I hate this part. Gusto kong may kasama, pero sa tuwing binibigyan naman ako ay halos hindi ako nagsasalita. I did attempt conversation starters but they always end up lame. I miserably failed three times on that area so I stopped trying and decided to play safe through silence. Minsan, nagdedepende na lang ang takbo ng usapan hindi dahil sa paksa kung 'di sa personalidad ng tao. I couldn't keep an interesting talk. I was on the verge of thinking that there must be something wrong with me.

Well, there is always something wrong with me. I have so many issues I could put Time Magazine to shame.

The toilet bowl flushed. Pumitik ang lock at bumukas ang cubicle upang iluwa siya. Her short black hair is in a bob like my mother's. I don't hate her but I hate how she reminded me of my Mom and the words she can use to manipulate me.

"'Di ba nagsusulat ka, D?" she asked while taking steps towards the sink, inaayos ang gusot sa palda.

"Uh, oo..." I responded, pinapanood siyang naghuhugas ng kamay.

She didn't spare a glance at me but on herself in the mirror.

"May ka-batch mate kasi tayo na kasabayan mo lang yatang nagsimulang magsulat. And now, she's published!"

"You've read her works?" My eyes narrowed, may naramdaman akong kakaiba. Umuusling kirot na hindi ko alam kung normal ba.

"Yeah!" Her eyes widened. "Ang gaganda lahat! You should read them, too!" She sounded so excited to tell me more about it. Pero dahil hindi ako ang dalawa pa naming kasama, she didn't even bother.

"I write my own," I said.

Nagkibit siya at walang pahintulot na inagaw sa akin ang cologne ko. I let her because... we're friends!

Mali ba na makaramdam ako ng tampo? I told her that I've been writing too but none of them have even tried to read a single word from it. I would have understood if they won't be a fan of me but why did they give a chance to read hers and not mine?