OBSIDIAN ISSUE #2 : WOUNDED

TWENTY FIVE

The sequences of last night was an endless loop around my brain.

Bumalik si Angelov sa loob para lang magpaalam sa mga kaibigan bago ang tahimik na biyahe namin pauwi. Madaling araw na iyon, pero walang antok ang dumalaw. I immediately marched straight to our house as soon as the car stopped just outside the subdivison. I made it back to my room undetected. Nga lang, nasundan naman ako ng mga multo!

My own curiosity has only taken me so far. Dahil kinabukasan, nabibigong sugpuin ng mga lumipas na oras ang pag-aapoy ng pisngi ko. It doesn't help that Angelov is in front of me, subtly thrusting his hips in synch with I Hate Myself for Loving You's beat early in the morning right here in the tattoo studio!

Clad in faded jeans and his usual loose muscle shirt, patuloy niyang sinasabayan ang maingay na tugtugin habang abala sa pagguhit ng kung ano. He's facing the side end of the counter, while my sight of him is in side view.

"Sam," he called over the equally loud music.

I heard him. Ginawa ko lamang dahilan ang tugtugin para magpanggao na walang naririnig. I was looking at some shots from last night on my phone as if it's going to help me pull up a show.

"Sam!" ulit niya sa mas malakas na timbre.

Pinalips ko ulit iyon. Sa umulit na sambit ay buong pangalan ko na, doon pa ako nakapag-angat ng tingin dala ang pagkukunot noo.

"What?"

That... didn't come from my mouth. That is the word I shaped inside my head just to mold into a facial expression.

Dahil sa totoo lang, natatakot na akong buksan ang bibig ko. Everytime I do or just the mere attempt of parting my lips now will always feel like last night is going to give me hell for the rest of my life through mocking me with its memories!

Clearly, last night wasn't the usual me. I am starting to wonder if that behavior has always been here within, clawing... begging to be unleashed. At naisip ko rin na marahil may ibang kakayahan pa akong nakaimbak sa lilim, binabaon lang ng inhibisyon. Because see, I have always been schooled as the goody good girl, and for a long while I had to perfectly act like one.

Last night must have been my highest attempt of rebellion.

This is also to finally bring me to an understanding that there are still hidden parts of myself that needs uncovering.

I met Angelov's gaze, found them already deep and calculating. Tinigilan na rin niya ang pagguhit at nakasandal ang balakang sa gilid ng counter. His elbow was on the surface top. Pinaglalaruan ng mga daliri niya ang asul na lapis.

"Inaantok ka pa. Masyado yatang late ang paghatid ko sa 'yo kanina."

Lihim akong nagreklamo dahil pinaalala pa niya!

"I'm not..." Hindi lang nakatulog.... an afterthought.

His dark gaze lingered. Hindi ko maintindihan ang nababasa na paninimbang niya sa akin. Though he never showed, not a mere shadow, of his thoughts about my crime this morning as if last night didn't exist to him.

Kalaunan ay umayos na siya nang tayo at tahimik na binalikan ang ginuguhit.

I rose up from my seat. Kita ko ang marahan na pagkakatigil niya na para bang lihim na inaabangan bawat galaw ko. Slowly, I took cautious steps delivering an aim to convince him, and most especially myself that it wasn't me last night when obviously...

"Tapusin ko lang 'to tapos alis na tayo." His tone was dismissive, for some reason. "Upo ka muna."

I only nodded, half-hearted to his command. Tinitignan ko ang drawing na pinagkakaabalahan niya na kailangan pa talaga namin pumarito sa halip na idiretso niya ako sa eskuwela.