OBSIDIAN ISSUE #2 : WOUNDED

FIFTEEN

"Hello?"

Papaupo sa aking swivel chair ay sinagot ko ang tawag na inaasahan mula sa bagong kliyente. Namataan ang makipot na siwang ng pinto, sumenyas ako sa sumisilip na staff doon. I mouthed coffee to her. She nodded then turned to produce my request.

"Hello? Who's this, please?"

Natigil ako sa pag-aayos ng mga litrato sa mesa. Despite myself, the intense rush of hope filled my veins like it has always been there all along, just waiting to be fueled. Sa patuloy na pananahimik ng kabilang linya, ang pangalan niya ay nakapaloob sa isang hiling at libo-libong mga sana, at sa isang sambit, unti-unting kinakain ang lakas ko ng umaalipin na pag-asa.

I stared at my unfinished mood board and prolonged my patience for the other line. My crude heart was beating my bones hard. Mababaw at mahihinang paghinga ay tumagpo sa umaasam kong pandinig.

Sana ikaw. Pero imposible naman yata, hindi ba? B-But I never believed it, love. So I hope this is you and then, we can prove everyone wrong...

"H-Hello..." ngayon, sa boses kong pinapanawan ng buhay.

"Deirdre..." 

Ang lumulunod sa aking bugso ng alon ay bumagsak at iniwang tuyo ang dalampasigan. Ang kaninang lamig ng kaba ay inaapoy ang daloy ng aking dugo.

I have to slowly suck in an untold deep breath just to soothe the pulsing rage down.

Ever since the incident, I never heard a soul from her. Maliban lamang roon sa huling tawag ni Alessandro Vidaurri, which at the end made me feel guilty for trying to put them in their place. At first, I thought that call would finally be for our reconciliation but then again, what else is new? They always prove me wrong with my hopes. They will always fulfill my expectation with foreseeable disappointments.

Sa kabila ng nararamdamang poot ay sumanib ang laking pagtataka ko na marinig siya sa isang tawag. My eyes narrowed, trying to hark back to a day of calls like this. Whatever this means, I can never hope for a good news. Pero hindi naman yata kailanman nangyari ang kahit isang araw na iyon.

"Kumusta? How's work and--" 

"What's happening?" a quick response served cold. 

Hilaw ang tawa niya, tila ba hindi inasahan ang tugon ko. I can already imagine her stunned face while still trying to maintain her poise just to avoid the embarassement. 

"Deirdre, ma chère--"

"What's this for?" Mother?

She cleared her throat. It's hard for me to assume that she was humbling herself through this.

"I... I just want to know how you are doing, hija. I don't see anything wrong wi-with...asking if you're fine...r-right?"

Huminga ako nang malalim. As much as how I hate to speak ill towards the people who raised me, the ones who I have spent the years with more than I have not, but what has led me to my survival impeded the noble act to gain ground on my remaining bravery and pride.

"No, nothing's wrong if you had only done this several times before. Ngayon, mukhang may mali dahil ito lamang ang unang pagkakataong kinumusta mo ako. So, I'm sorry if it would take such a long time convincing me about your sincerity, Mrs. Vidaurri. You're not the type to call me at the middle of things just to know if I'm doing good."  

Dumapo ang tingin ko sa umiingit na pinto. Cher's assistant waltzed in with my coffee. I smiled frugally to let her know that she wasn't interrupting anything. Mabilis ding nagbalik ang madilim kong anyo nang maiwan na mag-isa.