OBSIDIAN ISSUE #2 : WOUNDED

THIRTEEN

Since he taught me the things I never thought I could do, somehow made the vague days creep into luminous existence as I recalled how I've always wondered what it feels to be wild.

Because in innocence always comes curiosity. And in the act of smothering the thirst of knowledge was how I lost the virtue of a newborn child.

Prim and feminine. Dalawang salita na laging tinataga sa akin ng aking ina. I was also trained to be as classy and soft, a far cry from this feral creature I'm going to spend the rest of my dawns with. Kaya ang kinalabasan ng mga paghihigpit ay ang pagpapalaya naman ng imbitasyon sa aking isip. In every dignified struts I made in formal gatherings, was a vision in the bottom pit of my fantasies, me running towards the arrival of my ruthless lover. Behind every solemn smiles I made just because I was told to do so, was an image I captured of me laughing outloud, careless and convivial. In every beat my heart could jump along into was an imagination of me, dancing freely and untamed. And in every car rides was a moving picture of open windows to let the city's breath in as I spread my arms up and out into the void of the highways.

Mga bagay na hindi ko pa natutupad kailanman. It made me even think that if I wasn't a Vidaurri, I would probably have washed our dishes and scrub the floors in our mansion.

I was carved to dress up the style of elegance. The brands I have worn made me look content with my life in gold when the truth is, I was just so fed up with its ideal. So as the ideal people and the personified standards of men. Nangungulila ako sa mga pagkakataon na ipinagkait sa akin at sa mga ipinagbabawal. The freedom I know didn't seem to satiate me, so I lusted for more.

Then here... ever since the night of my unbecoming, it occurred to me that this might be the first out of so many right moments that I've been waiting to risk myself for.

"Hey you, look around, can you hear that noise it's a rebel sound..." sumabay ang mahinang tugtugin rito sa convenience store ang ingay ng computer sa counter.

Isang angat ng aking mga mata ay tumagpo agad kay Angelov. Two rows of shelves apart, I could sense how he's been checking on me from time to time just to see if I am doing this right.

Sumasabog ang kutob ko na iyon nga ang ginagawa niya dahil sa bawat pasadyang sulyap ko ay nakatitig na siya sa akin. Nagtatagal pa iyon ng ilang segundo bago niya ibinabagsak ang tingin sa hawak na paninda.

I quickly threw a dubious look at the man guarding the door, then back to Angelov, giving him ridiculous hand signs. Nagkibit ako, silently asking him what to do. Ilang minuto na kami rito ay wala pa rin akong napupuslit! Wala rin naman akong balak tuparin ang gusto niya. At first, I even thought that he was just kidding! Ngayon, hindi ko na alam.

Umangat ang isang maldito niyang kilay, tapos ay kalmadong binaba ang tingin sa kinuhang sachet ng kape. His grim lips protruded as he flipped it to cooly check the back label, kunwari binabasa iyon bago niya ibinulsa!

Lumuwa ang mata ko sa nakitang ginawa niya. I saw his lips curl without even looking at anyone or on the hidden cameras! I can't believe he was serious when he told me to get anything I want! Pakiramdam ko rin ay nakita niya ang katawa-tawa kong reaksyon dahilan ng misteryosong ngiti niya!

I huffed, lumala nang husto ang karera ng mga daga sa dibdib ko. Ganoon ka-simple sa kanya, huh?

Sa totoo lang, kanina ko pa gustong ma-turn off dito kay Angelov. Imagine, a supremely talented guy and one of it was his magnetic charm and the undeniable charisma. He goes to college and a graduating student at that! Heck! He could even be the one to possibly invent the very first adjective that could fair to his looks because handsome is just too calm for a word for him! Then he owns a business. It may be small, but enough to support him, his mother and his future.