Green Eyes That See Red (NEW! UPDATING WHEN I CAN - 2019)

Fuck me, and not the way ur thinking

Soon enough, Friday evening came around. Mine and Darius' shift was over and we left early to go to our separate places and change before Darius would bring his car around outside my place and we'd drive to the regular club from there. Darius always looked cute when we went out, he'd have a shirt with smart black or grey trousers with fancy black shoes and sometimes even a tie. Once I'd finished my make up and out my heels on, I grabbed my clutch and a pack of cigarettes before heading out to meet Darius.

"Hey how you... woah! You look, really pretty."
Darius smiled as he looked at me. I blushed a little.
"And you look very handsome yourself."
I smiled back.

Once we were at the restaurant, we took our seats at a table for two opposite each other. We talked about movies coming out, planned some trips together and enjoyed a comfortable silence as we finished our food. Once we'd paid (I forced him to let me pay half), we headed over to the club and got in pretty much straight away as the guard said I was 'hot'? Kinda dumb and unfair that rule that you can skip the cue if they think you're hot, but I wasn't planning on complaining about it tonight as the cue was really long. The music was actually really good tonight and I could really use the dancing and vibes there. We bought drinks and started dancing. We'd been dancing fir a solid hour before I needed a cigarette (I'd started smoking a lot more than I ever did in Hemlock). I couldn't see Darius amongst the crowds of people so texted him telling him I'd be outside.

Once I'd manoeuvred my way through people and made my way past the bouncers guarding the doors, I finally felt the cool night air on my skin as my eyes looked around for a spacious place to smoke without a stranger coming up to me. As I walked down the side of the club, I stopped dead in my tracks as a tall, handsome man I once loved with all my heart came into view, making my heart skip a beat for a second. Roman. The Roman that used to be mine. The Roman that broke my heart.

Roman had just flicked his cigarette butt to the ground, his eyes moving ahead as he took one step before stopping, his eyes locking with mine for a couple seconds then looking at my body and back at my eyes again. His face seemed to light up but I turned back round quickly and headed straight back into the club before he could come any closer. My heart was racing and all these memories I'd pushed to the back of my mind began clouding my brain, all the beautiful moments and tough times we'd been through together, and those breath-taking few times we made love. It wasn't enough. I jumped as I felt a hand on my waist turn me round, it was Darius with a big smile, he was definitely drunk.
"Hey! There you are!"
He shouted over the music pecking my cheek.
"Come dance with me!"
He whined in a childish manor making me laugh as I took his hand, curving myself to not look round for Roman in case he'd come back in.

Better With You by Michl came on, everyone started dancing and the feeling of the beats vibrating through the floor was exhilarating. I closed my eyes as I danced beside Darius, I got so lost in the song, when I opened my eyes I saw Roman watching me intently from the bar again making my heart catch in my throat. I quickly looked away and Darius spun me and we carried on dancing till the song was over and I tried not to look at Roman.

As the next song, Help Me Lose My Mind-Disclosure/London Grammar played, I told Darius I was going to use the ladies room, but it was to avoid a staring Roman. Once I'd pushed through the hoards of people, I began walking down the small corridor to the ladies. Once in front of the mirror, I felt myself breathing heavy. I placed my palms on the sink counter and leaned toward the mirror, looking at my reflection, realising my eyes were filling with tears.
"Shit.."
I mumbled with a sniff before wiping a tear from one cheek that had escaped my eye. Once I'd re-applied my chapstick, re-sprayed my perfume and brushed my hair, I headed out of the bathroom, only to be in shock all over again as I almost knocked straight into Roman, who was stood leaning up against the corridor wall. I immediately retracted and took several steps back from him.
"Hi."
He spoke without a particular tone. As beautiful as he'd always looked, and maybe even more now with this feeling of maturity about him, I suddenly felt this rage build inside of me at a rate of knots, remembering when I'd been there for him and he left me without a thank you, without a goodbye, without fucking anything.

Before I knew it, I felt my expression change from surprised to a look of disgust as I shoved past him and went back to find Darius.
"Hey Nams, come-"
Darius began slurring before I was quick to interrupt.
"You know I hate it when you call me that. I want to leave."
I spoke maybe a little harsh, but I knew trying to get through to a drunk Darius, proved harder than you'd have thought. Once we'd left, I made sure Darius had a glass of water and was safe in bed, before kissing his lips lightly goodnight before heading back to my place.

As much as I tried, I couldn't get Roman out my head. The way his tall figure leant against the wall, his big coat I used to hide in and new hair cut making his hair appear darker. The way our eyes met again for the first time in what felt like forever. I remembered the safety I felt looking into them at a time where I'd never felt safe. I took a huge mouthful of water before showering with distracting punk music playing loudly from my speaker. I brushed my teeth before combing my hair and climbing into bed, turning the music down low so I could still hear it enough to block out my head.