Green Eyes That See Red (NEW! UPDATING WHEN I CAN - 2019)

Where's the guilt?

I woke up having slept the best I had in a while, I actually felt refreshed and perky which never happened in the mornings, it was sinful. I squinted a little at the bright morning sunlight streaming between the blinds, creating strips of orangey light cascading across the walls and bedsheets, and across Roman's smooth face and chest as he lay on his back with one hand in my hair, the other was holding my hand to his chest and remembering what happened last night made my stomach feel butterflies as I smirked and snuggled more into Roman's side, hearing his breathing change as he was waking up.

"Good morning."
Roman mumbled as he loosely wrapped both his big arms around me, keeping me warm as I stretched to pull the covers back over our naked bodies, my head on Roman's chest as I twirled some strands of his longish hair between my fingers, feeling safe once again, feeling like I'd come home. After laying like that for another hour without a word, it made me think of how annoying it was when Darius would have full on conversations with me in the early morning when he knew I was practically a corpse in the morning, then I realised, shit, Darius is my fucking boyfriend and he doesn't really know anything about me. Not like Roman did.

The worst part wasn't even the fact I remembered, it was the fact I forgot and the fact I didn't even feel guilty or any regret the events of last night. Hell, I'd do it all again. However, what I'd done wasn't wrong, it was just at the wrong time. I shouldn't have still been with Darius, I always knew deep down he never made me feel the way Roman did, but I assumed first loves are always going to feel different. It was wrong though and I needed to tell Darius, I'd tell him tomorrow when I see him, I'll speak with him alone and tell him the whole truth and hope he can forgive me if not understand.

Finally I lightly lifted the sheet to climb out of the bed when Roman pulled my wrist making me fall back into him, my chest against his as his face was inches from mine, eyes crinkling a little as he smirked, hands moving to rest on my waist.
"What're you thinking about? Darius?"
Roman asked as if it didn't bother him. I nodded and bit my lip.
"I'm going to tell him tomorrow. He's a good guy, he deserves to know."
I explained. Roman smiled almost in relief.
"For a second I thought you were going to go back with him, that you'd regret what we did."
I smiled softly in thought as my eyes trailed his gorgeous Scandinavian face.
"How could I?"
He smiled really wide before crashing his lips with mine, his arms holding my body to his as I kissed his cheek and got up. I made us both coffee and we sat in bed and talked for another hour before Roman suggested we go out for breakfast which I agreed.
"Ready?"
I asked as I tightened the hair tie in my half up half down ponytail.