It's just a Julie thing you wouldn't understand 1

64

Julie

"Alex's please come back babe please I need you right now." I was bleeding like crap right now and it hurts and I didn't know what to do I tried standing up but everything hurts like fuck.  Alex walk back in seeing me trying to stand up. " what the hell do you think your are doing your supposed to rest okay so just stay in bed." "But it hurts.... I'm bleeding and your not helping right now I just need to take a cold shower to stop the pain please." "Oh fuck sorry wait I will go get the nurse okay." "No I don't want' a fucking nurse to help me out I just want you to pick me up and place me in the shower please. It's normal to bleed you know I just lost a baby and it will take some time for everything to go make to the way it was. But I need you to trust me that I will be okay I need you now more than ever and I don't want your anger for Sara changing the loving and caring person I know into some monster. I don't want you to hurt her cause if you do I don't think I will be able to forgive you I mean it Alex." "It's okay I understand okay can you just stop talking now so I can get you inside the shower please." He pick me up and place me in the bad top and turn on some warm water. " I know you love your sister more than anything and I also understand that no matter what she did to you that you found a way in your heart to forgive her but please don't ask that of me cause please it's going to take time I know that but please just let me be Anger right now I feel like I do have the right to me mad right now or don't you think so." " I know you have all the right to me mad and all and I also understand it will take time to get used to all of this but we will come out strong okay we will leave through this okay."

Sara

I spent all the time I have been in here thinking about the fact that my parents haven't even come and visited me. Maybe they are looking for a way to get me out of here. I'm sure of it even though Alex's dad is the boss of the FBI I'm sure daddy will pull something off like he did when I got in here for what I did to Kyle. I was normally supposed to spend to till 3 years in here but I was out in less than a week. But that was because Alex's father thought I would be a great wife for their son who now likes my sister. The one person who has made my life living hell. The one person who was supposed to follow in my footsteps but instead of that she tried making me date her stupid ex guys that were normally supposed to be mine to begin with. She out smarted me I mean I toke her boyfriend and she toke something big from me my fiancé that is like super big and for that I'm never going to forgive her. I know some people may say I'm crazy but this is all cause of her if she just did what I ask of her none of this would have gotten out of hand the way it did. She wouldn't be lying in a hospital fighting for her pathetic life that shouldn't be here I'm certain if she had die Alex would have giving me a chance to help him out with Angel. I don't even know what that guy sees in my kid sister if I do remember he always told Julie he loved me he told her he knew that the second he laid eyes on me. I do remember when we started dating he would always show me in so many ways that he loved me so what the hell change how can one little take him a way from me like that. Without even having to fight me for it she toke him from me like a boss. Just the fact that Alex had sex with her proved to me that he loves her more than he would ever love me it proved to me that Julie had completely stolen him from me. Just the way he was looking at her during dinner at moms birthday proved to me that this was a fight I lost before it even started. And to find out they already had a kid was just the cherry on the icing. It was like she had just hit me where she knew it would hurt the most. Maybe she didn't know I couldn't have kids it not like we ever sat down and talk. But I did expect mom to at least tell her that well maybe she thought it was my job. I mean it was my secret anyway and I would have been mad at her if she told Julie. Why is all of this happening to me why is it so hard to forgive her why?

Two weeks later

I can't even remember how long I have been in here but I did a lot of thinking. And last night the realisation hit me that all of this was my fault. Every bad thing that happened to me happened cause of me. Nobody else but me all because I was jealous of my sister because she had everything I always wanted. If I was a better sister I would have been there for her when she got pregnant. I knew she has leukaemia I always heard mom and grandma talk about it when she was sleeping. I know how much it hurt mom and since dad didn't want anything to with Julie mom kept it to her self. I could always see the hurt in her eyes each time Julie and I had a fight. Because most of the time Julie ended up in the hospital. But all I ever said was that she deserves what ever she got. I mean if I did things differently just maybe things wouldn't have turn out this way. I mean my own parents have abandoned me here for hell. which I think I deserve I mean I destroyed everything I almost killed my own sister. I send Kyle to the hospital and didn't even say sorry to him. I made everything ones life a living hell. That Julie could even stand to leave in the same house as me is till on believable if you ask me. I wouldn't want to leave with me if you ask me I would rather be homeless. But she stayed there she was there even though I hurt her so much. I'm sure the only reason she left last time was cause she couldn't handle it anymore. Not only did I blame her for everything that was going wrong in my life but for betraying Alex who loves her so much. I'm a horrible person I don't even know how I can look at myself in the mirror as smile. After all the bad things that I have done in my life after all the pain I caused those I call family. And friends that is if I have any left after all I did and all the lies. I  became someone else I myself doesn't even recognise anymore. I think it's would be better if I die.