Nodoka and The Inevitable | ohshc

03 | nodoka

The breeze wasn't that strong to be completely honest. Nodoka's running just makes it seem like a hurricane is occurring.

Her legs took big steps as they collided with the pavement. Wind in her hair as she ran faster and faster. Her throat was burning from the intensity of it all, leaving her breathless with every step she took.

Nodoka isn't a professional athlete who runs marathons after marathons, races after races. But due to the commotion that happens at least thrice or quadruple times a week for three consecutive years now, she learned how to cope with it.

No matter how much pain she's been enduring from all the running, she won't let it stop her.

She won't let anything stop her from - possibly - saving the only person she's had close to a family.

All her life, she's been running roads and sidewalks and pavements and asphalts and she wonders; when will she ever stop running?

When will she ever stop running after unreachable dreams; endless, infinite roads of delusional possibilities; and people who will never love her back?

Why was she wasting so much time trying to save the people she cares for when she can't even save herself?

Why was she trying so hard to be accepted by someone who looked down on her?

Why was she sacrificing all she has left when the one person she's given it all to can't reciprocate her efforts?

Because life was never in her favor.

Nodoka wished day and night that one day, she'll wake up to something new and ... euphoric. Something that could drive her away from her everyday misery. She's always believed that one day, when the time is right, all she's ever hoped for will come to life.

But when will it arrive?

If she wants all these things to be passed onto her, all she needs to do is accept the challenges wholeheartedly and happily. 

But how is she supposed to when she's slowly losing sight of how to fight? 

"Thank you for contacting me, Fujioka-san." Nodoka says and bows at the cross-dressed man in front of her. He simply smiles and instructs her to go after her mom.

"I'm home..." Nodoka trails off as she steps inside their house.

And she regrets it immensely.

The smell of alcohol and smoke bustling in the room intoxicated her nostrils. Her nose scrunched up in disgust as the familiarity of the smell registered in her mind.

"S'bout time you got here." her mother, Keiko, slurred.

She had a half-empty bottle of whiskey in hand while a cigarette stick was placed in between her lips.

"Mom." Nodoka said, her tone a little demanding but sufficient to be considered a warning. "Could you please ... stop this? You're killing yourself." she says with more ease as Keiko uses her index and middle finger to hold her cigarette as she blows white puffs of smoke in the air. 

Keiko, who didn't dare look at her the moment she arrived, threw a fit of laughter. She was haphazardly laying on the couch before falling off and landing on the floor causing Nodoka to gasp and drop her bag on the floor.

"Mom!" she groans, running to her mother and crouching down to her level then tries to help her up.

"Don't touch me, you twat!" her mother warned her.

"But mom." Nodoka interjects, voice cracking; tears threatening.

"No, no buts." she claimed before pushing Nodoka off of her by the shoulder.

Nodoka lands on the floor with a soft thud due to both her elbows' support. Her mother gets up, her figure swaying but she remained unaffected. Now in her standing position, she looked at Nodoka on the floor with hazy blue eyes.

Eyes that were once filled with light, care and life. Eyes that Nodoka used to love.

Now? She's not so sure anymore.

"You ... worthless piece of shit, do your work. Now." her mom orders as she looks at Nodoka with pure disgust. And Nodoka believes that she is a worthless piece of shit.

She nods defeatedly before getting up from the ground and beginning her work. But not before she writes something first.

A little venting never hurt anyone.

Keiko disappears into her room and Nodoka heaves a sigh of relief. Other nights were worse. This hasn't reached its maximum yet. She grabs her bag and looks for her journal. But she can't find it.

Her eyes grew wide and began to search through every inch and square. But it was not there. 

Realization hits her before she gets up from her position and ran straight out the door in hopes of seeing her blue book still at the same spot in her school. 

By now, the tears that she was holding in, spilled. She finds herself running yet again and she hopes she's not too late. 

Nodoka sighs for the nth time as she makes her way around the library. Seeing that her notebook was there and, hopefully, untouched.

She grabs the object and inspects it carefully to see if there were any damages and folded pages; there were none. 

But she wasn't quite satisfied. 

Flipping to one page, she grows anxious.

Someone read her thoughts - thoughts that was only supposed to be hers.

'How do you know for sure that the people you will encounter aren't any good?'