Too Hard To Breathe

XVIII- "You talked"

I can't stand it anymore. I know.
I know some people have suffered more and in worse ways than I did.

I'm not happy. My dad hates my guts, he practically wants to kill me.

At school, everybody thinks I'm a nobody. I'm strange. Not only that but they think it's funny to mess with me everyday.

And to make everything worse than it already was. They think I'm a slut.

Just because the school's hottest bad boy, took a interest in me.

I just can't take it anymore.

Maybe I'm being over dramatic.

When I saw 13 reasons why, I complained that Hannah was always being over dramatic. But maybe she is right. Maybe she was just tired of fighting.

And I think I've reached my limit.

I'm tired of fighting. I'm not going to be missed.

I get up from my bed and enter the bathroom that is linked to my room.

I grab a bottle of pills. They had been prescribed to me for some "back pain" but I never took them.

I pour a few in my hand and swallow it dry.

I take my shirt off leaving me in my jeans and bra. I sit against the wall and grab my razor.

I take a deep breath and I cut it.

I cut through my skin. Through my pain, my broken heart and all the memories.

Once. Twice.

I was doing it again, but my bedroom door is slammed open.

I thought it was my father, so as always. I screamed. Loud.

But the pair of hands that grabbed my arms, weren't rough. They were gentle.

I stop screaming and look up. I make eye contact with deep, concerned hazel eyes.

What?

"Jake?! Wh-What are you doing here? How di-did you get in? What?"-I say confused.

"You have to get out of here?"- I say rushed, trying to get up. He doesn't let me though. Keeping a strong hold on my forearms.

"S-s-stop.."

"You have to go before h-he gets here."- I say frantically, he can't be here when dad comes back. How the hell did he get in?? What is he even doing here?!! I stop abruptly when I realize that, stop wasn't mine.

I look, shocked, at Jake. Did he? No, its the pills.

"Y-you have to stop!"- He says with a raspy voice. I so did not imagined that!

"You talked! What?! I don't understand?!"

"You can't keep doing this to yourself. I can't stand watching you doing the same mistakes that I did. Okay? You don't deserve it. I know what you're going through! I have my scars too."- He says in a whisper, rolling up his sleeves and showing me the same red and white lines that I have on my wrists. What. I don't understand...I think I'm already lightheaded.

"Look I know now it seems like it's the best way out. But it isn't. Let me help you. Let's help each other. And try to heal."

"You don't understand, there's no way out. He always finds me. I can't run away."

"I don't know why. But I feel this need to keep you safe. And I'm going to help you. I'm going to protect you from your father." -He says barely audible.

Should I trust him. Why me. He talked to me.
Omg the pills!!

"It's too late."-I say with tears in my eyes, looking to the pills bottle behind him, on the ground. He follows my line of vision and curses under his breath.

"I'm sorry!"- He says

"For wha-"- I couldn't finish my sentence because he launches towards me and grabs me by the waist and drags me to the toilet.

"Fuck!"-He says before putting his fingers down my throat. Making me gag. I feel the liquid of my stomach coming up. And I throw up.

I figured out what he was doing. He was making me throw up the pills.

He was saving my life.

And he talked.