Too Hard To Breathe

X- "Addicted to pain."

Previously on Too Hard to Breathe:
A bloody foot with cuts lay in a pool of broken glass.

Mackenzie's POV:

I woke up, not knowing what to do.

I'm a mess. Everything is broken. I'm broken.

I slowly get up, with the help of the wall behind me.

As I put my blood foot, well now dried bloody foot, on the floor I whimper.

It hurt, so much.

Not the foot, well the foot too, but my hope.

I was hoping that in the deep, deep end of my father's body, he still cared for me.

And it hurts to know that he doesn't, that my hope is just a bunch of bullshit feelings.

I slid down the wall, not taking the pain, I drag myself through the floor towards my wardrobe.

I wonder how am I going to school?
Or
How am I going to be able to take out one sweater, the ones that I have on the top shelf.

Well lucky for me, I have one of the problems solved, since I found a sweatshirt on the floor of my closet.

I put it on and put one of the leggings that I have in my bottom shelf.

I sit there, fully dressed.
Looking at the dirty foot in front of me.

I grab it and put it in my lap, in an Indian position, I stare at it for a while not knowing if I am strong enough to take it out.

I slowly grab the piece of glass that it's visible, breathing in and out.

One, two....

"Ughhh!"- I let out a little whimper, letting the piece of glass fall to the floor.

I look to my hands and they are covered in blood.

Why?
Why it still hurts?
I hear it, my brain wanting to shut down, yelling for me to end everything already. It's screaming for help.

But I just can't, I want to because there is nothing that holds me here.

I've no one, it's hard, when we are little we think the world is a fairy tail, it's black and white. It's right.

Well, when I grow up I discovered a new color, gray, the life isn't black and white anymore, nothing is right, everything is wrong.

I have to be strong, I have to do it for myself.
I have to end it...

But I can't, I can't do it. Ugh

I put a fuzzy sock in my bloody foot and put my old vans on.

I get up and go to the kitchen, limping, I grab an apple and put it inside my backpack.

Midway through the side walk to school, I have to sit down and breathe because the pain is unbearable.

I reach for my backpack behind my back and search in it for a Advil, I hope it works fast.

After I swallow it down I restart my way to school.

As I came closer to the building I hear the bell ring, witch means that I'm late, again.

I hate being late, because that attract attention that I don't need.

"You are late, Miss Collins!"-I heard my art teacher say when I open the door to enter in class.

"Sorry, it won't happen again."-I say looking at him.

When he gives me his approval nod I start making my way to the back of the classroom.

I can't help but limp a little, I can't help it, okay, I try but I can't because I'm in pain.

The art class went by without a problem, I have study hall, next.

Study hall it's my favorite period, because basically it's when you have the whole hour free to study, well the government thinks that we students use that hour to study, but come on...

I went to the library, planning of being the whole hour by myself, but I didn't have that luck.

"What do you want?"-I ask Jake when he sits down next to me in the back of the library.

Me and Jake hadn't "talked" since he passed by me in the hallway and glared me up and down, last week.

'What's with the limping.'-he writes down on my notebook.

"What do you mean 'limping'?"- I say not making eye contact.

'Do you think I don't see it.' -he writes down and looking at me in the end.

"Well I don't know what you are talking about, so leave me alone."-I say standing up not making eye contact.

As I start do walk away from the table he grabs my wrist making me stop right there.

"I said leave me alone."-I say yanking my arm from his grip and successfully walking away.

The rest of the period I stayed in the girls bathroom waiting for the minutes to pass.

When there was only 5 minutes left, I got out of the bathroom and as I was walking to my locker I feel a arm wrap around my waist, lifting me up to where my feet aren't on the floor anymore, and a hand clap on my mouth preventing me for screaming.

OMG, I'm being kidnaped.

"It was a handsome young man."

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*864 words*

-xx