Time will heal - flac fanfic #wattys2018

Drifting away, part 29

Jacs pov:
It was yet nearing the end of another week at Holby City. I'd performed 4 surgery's and been to 3 meetings, and did more admin and emails then I could bother to count.
I sat back in my office chair and sighed. I was alone in my office, having a break. My eyes drifted shut, and my head lulled back. I was so tired. I was free for an hour. I may as well sleep.
I shut my eyes...
*****
I felt a hand stroking the top of my head. Fletch?
"Goodbye Jac." A voice said. It wasn't Fletch. It sounded like Sacha. He removed his hand and began to walk away.
I still was half asleep, I couldn't tell where I was.
"Am I dying?" I asked sleepily.
He walked back over to me.
"No."He said simply. I could hear the smile in his voice. I knew it was Sacha now.
"Then why the goodbyes?" I asked, not bothering to open my eyes.
He stroked the top of my head once more.
"Go back to sleep." He said. I nodded sleepily and drifted back into sleep.
*****
Sachas pov:
I just couldn't do it anymore. I was tired of fighting and losing battle. Connor had died earlier today on my operating table... I'd done everything I could possibly do to save him, but it wasn't enough. I ran up onto the roof of the hospital.
The cool air hit my face in a relaxing way.
I walked slowly towards the edge of the building, looking over Holby without my usual fondness.
Everything tasted bitter, everything smelt horrible, everything looked grey in my eyes and everything felt wrong. I got to the edge of the building and held the railing tightly, my knuckles turning white from the force of my grip. I felt the wind blowing quietly and I let a silent tear slip down my cheek. Then another one came. And another one. And another one. Emotions changed from anger to sadness to despair to hatrid then to loss. Loss was what had made me spiral out of control. I had no control over how I felt. It was like someone else had control of my mind and body, like I was a puppet to someone's delusional mind game.
I looked over the edge and hoisted myself over the safety railing so I was on the very edge of the building. One step and I'd have fallen.
A million things raced through my mind, a million colours, a million thoughts, a million people, a million things I hadn't thought of.
Jac, Conner, Tyler, Rachel, Rebecca, Daniel, Fletch, Essie, Raf..
They wouldn't care, would they?
Jac and Fletch has each other. Essie has Dom and Lofty. Tyler had Connors family and his own. The kids had each other.  Raf was gone, and so was Connor.
I shuffled closer to the edge. I held my arms out a little.
I shut my eyes, a tear rolling down my cheek. The cold breeze hit my face soothingly but I felt nothing but a toxic wave of sadness rolling over me, crushing me.
"Stop." I hear a voice say...

Jacs pov:
"Stop." I say to Sacha.
Sachas on the roof... he's on the edge. Ric had paged me and told me.
Ric and I were on the roof, trying to get Sacha to come down. I stepped closer to Sacha, signalling for Ric to stay where he was. I walked so I was leaning against the railings.
"Remember when I told you I was pregnant with Emma?" I said lightly.
A small, familiar smile cracked on his face. It soon faded as tears poured down his cheeks.
"I hope she grows up to be like you Jac." He whispers through his sobs.
The sobs rack his body, making him sway slightly.
"You'll see her grow up Sacha."I said confidently.
"I don't deserve to Jac."He weeps.
"Yes you do Sacha. She loves you. You'll always be her Uncle Sacha. Uncle Sacha who plays with her teddies in the Park. Uncle Sacha who takes her for ice cream. Uncle Sacha who makes grumpy Jac Naylor smile. Just like Zosia will always be her aunt."I say, zipping up my NHS hoodie.
I fold my arms.
"You mean a lot to me and a lot of other people Sacha. Don't make us grieve you..." I mumble, holding out my hand to help him down.
He doesn't take it.
"I'm with you every step of the way Sacha. I'm going to help you." I reassure, stretching my hand towards him.
I feel his warm palm take it...
And just like that, he's over the rail and in my arms as I hug him tightly.
Sacha is safe.

Hi, I thought it important to make this chapter as mental health is an important issue that shouldn't JUST be raised in Holby, but should be raised everywhere. Mental Health has no gender and together we can help people like Sacha who struggle with it daily.
Thankyou for reading.