Adventures Without Maeve

15. Hurry & Be Careful

The song on the side is the one that I listened to while writing this chapter! I hope you guys enjoy it!

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I read a line today in Maeve's notebook. It reminded me a lot of the dream I had last night. Almost exactly the same.

"He turned to me and said, there are going to be things you regret doing. Things you want, but you feel as though I will be mad. I could never be mad at you. Do them. And be happy about it. I know that I am the one you really belong to."

Last night M told me to not be upset about something. I wasn't sure what she meant at first. But the more I think about it, the more I understand. Maeve knows that I have feelings for Nova. As much as I don't want to, I do. Not as strong as my feelings for M. But still, they are there. And it just feels wrong.

"It felt wrong to be with someone who wasn't him. I wanted him. Not anyone else. But when you can't have the person you truly want. Well, you have to move on. And it takes time to get over the fact that they are not the person you really wanted."

It almost feels like Maeve and I have traded places. And my brain can't seem to piece all the pieces together just yet. I can tell that there is something bigger here. Something more than what I am thinking.

But for now, I have to the books and live this life. Not the one where M still exist. And if that means moving on, then I am going to have to face it.

I was just about to close the notebook for the night, but then something caught my eye. Something that is probably very important.

"Tonight H told me something. I'm not even sure if I should be writing this. But here I go. He told that it isn't safe. He said I should run. Forget about him. Not even bother with finding him. And then he kissed me and whispered something. It was so quiet that I almost couldn't here it, but I did. It will kill you. And then he died again."

If this is implying what I think it is. Dream me was saying that he knew something was going to happen to M. But she already knew this, at least that's what her letter says. So why make a point of telling her that? Was this something that could have been avoided?

If Maeve had never met me, maybe she could still be alive. I hope, desperately, that isn't the truth. But I know there is something behind what was said in that dream. And maybe she figured out. But for now I need to sleep.

"H." Maeve whispers. "It's not true."

"What's not true, M?" I ask, as she cuddles closer to me.

"The thing you read." She says, kissing my neck gently. I am not even sure what she means. But I don't ask.

"Okay." I say, holding on to her tighter.

"I wish it wasn't like this." She says, and I know by the sound of her voice that she is crying.

"Like what?" I ask, hooking my finger under her chin. I gently lift her face up and have it meet mine. Suddenly I know what she means. "Me too." I say, after the kiss ends.

"Are you happy?" She asks me. Running her hand through my hair.

"Not like I used to be, but yeah." I say, sighing. "How come this all feels so real?"

"Because." She simply says, kissing my neck again. I rub her back gently.

"I miss this. And you." I say, closing my eyes.

"Let's just enjoy now." She says. We lay in silence for a few minutes and then something happens.

"I have to leave." She says, looking up at me with sad eyes. And then she is dead. The screaming begins.