Adventures Without Maeve

20. Letting Go

There is no handbook for this. No tips on how to control your breathing as you are running down a hallway faster than you have ever ran in your life. I think I could have used it right about now, though.

It all happened too fast. In flashes. Everyone's shocked faces. A scream. And then the running down the hallway. I am missing parts of time. And it feels like I have been running for years when it has only be seconds.

This is not real, I think. But I know it is. And the thought makes my heart rate increases by one hundred.

Everything was so nice before. Everyone was having a good time. How could this have happened? I feel like laying on the floor and screaming until I can't possibly scream anymore. I feel. Like my other half is gone.

"Sir," someone close says in a soft tone. "can I maybe help you figure out where you are running to?"

I stop running because I honestly don't know where the room is. I turn my body quickly to face her. Her eyes shine with sadness. I feel sick to my stomach.

"Who are you looking for?" She asks softly.

"Kidd. Maeve Kidd. She hasn't- fuck." I can't even form proper sentences.

"Go down the hall and make a right. Room 619." And then I am running again.

It feels like it takes too long for me to get there. But I finally do. And there she is. There is my girl.

A weak whine makes it's way out of me and I feel like dropping to my knees right here. But I push forward and make my way to the bed.

Maeve looks broken. I feel sick, feel like the world is ending. I grab Maeve's hand lightly and lace it with mine.

"Fuck Maeve," I breathe out. I can't stop the tears from spilling over my eyes, or the heavy breathing that follows it.

I don't even know what to say. Can barely get one word out without sobbing all over again. How could I possibly be calm? Maeve. My Maeve. Is laying here, not even breathing for herself. I could never be calm about this.

"H?" She chokes out.

"It's me, babe. It's me. I'm right here, M." I kiss her face over and over.

"It hurts." She cries, squinting her eyes.

"I know. But everything is okay. I'm here. It's alright." I say, shushing her.

"H, I can't." She whines. I can't either, I think. I can't stand to sit here. And. Just see her like this.

"You can, though!" I say, kissing her face again. "You are the strongest person I know, M. You can push through this." She can't die. Not now. Please not now. I need her.

"Harry, I love you." She catches her breath. "So fucking much it feels like I can't breathe." She let's out a breathy laugh. "I really can't this time." There are tears running down my face. My heart isn't whole anymore.

"Shh, I love you, okay? You're okay. We are okay." I say, kissing her again.

"You have to go on your own adventures now, okay?" She says, coughing.

"Okay." I say, hanging my head down. I raise my head again and watch her for a minute. She slowly falls asleep. She could use it. And I probably need to make some calls. But I can't get myself to do it. Instead I get in bed next to her.

I wake up to someone screaming. And I quickly jump up. It's her. She is screaming. Loudly. But. I can't tell what she is screaming. And then I get it.

"Harry!" She screams it over and over and over. Dragging it out. Harry.

"M, I'm right here." I say, taking her face in my hands. But she won't stop. "Maeve you are okay, babe." I say.