Vixy Wilde {A Zootopia Fanfiction}[COMPLETED]✔️

Chapter 43: Its All MY Fault

{This chapter contains self-blame, major bullying, major cusing, and thoughts of suicide, yee have been warned}

(Vixy's POV)

I drove myself to school since uncle Nick got me a car. He did it, more than likely, to cheer me up. And it worked....for less than three seconds. I did not want to go to school. I kid you not, yesterday I had a panic attack from overhearing a joke about death!

If it hadn't been for one of the castmates calming me down, I would've passed out in class! That's how bad it was.

I decided to at least try and be happy the next day, so I pretty much put on a fake smile for the day. However, it subsided when Aaron told Jasper and I that his father came home extremely drunk the night before and clawed his own son.

Jasper seemed to have stiffened, but I didn't hesitate to wrap my arms tightly around him to comfort him. Aaron seemed to have managed a smile when I did so. I heard him sigh from comfort and nuzzle my headfur as he wrapped his arms around me in return.

We asked Jasper why he stiffened at the mention of Aaron's father's incident the night before, and he only said that he was just worrying for Aaron, which was understandable.

However, for me, today was not a good day by the end of it, and also, it was a half day. So, I could go home early. Anyways, we were at lunch, my depression returning and I didn't eat anything, even though my stomach was growling because of the lack of food I had been eating.

I mean, with my rape secret out and Vivian in the crash, I was more focused on how I feel than on how worried I was more than likely making Aaron.

I'll admit, his overprotectiveness was a bit annoying, but I know it is because he's worried about me. He seemed to have noticed and gave me a worried glance and placed one of his paws on mine. I must also look sleep deprived, which I am.

I haven't slept in days; its amazed me how I still haven't fallen asleep in class yet.

I heard footsteps come up behind us and ignored it until I felt someone's claws dig into my side a bit.

"Bucky, leave me alone." I snarled. I knew it was the racist prey animal who hates foxes more than any predator because his father, believe it or not, was the one who hurt my uncle when he was a young fox kit.

Bucky Woods, who was a beaver, chuckled. "What? You don't want to take Vivian's place in her coma?" he teased.

I flinched visibly at the beaver's words. I didn't like the mention of a coma because I was in one myself almost two months ago.

I heard Jasper snarl and Aaron just wrapped his arm around my shoulders, making my head rest on his. "Don't listen to him, Vixy," he whispered in my ear, making a small shiver of comfort go down my spine from him.

I'll be honest, sometimes Aaron's voice or presence just brings a small smile to my face, even when I'm feeling worried or depressed.

Bucky continued to taunt me. "Just admit it, vixen whore, it's your own fault that Vivian is in the hospital."

Now my smile was gone and tears clouded my vision. I could tell Aaron was about to stand up and give Bucky a piece of his mind, but Jasper beat him to it.

He picked up Bucky by his shirt collar and growled. "Talk any kind of fucking dick shit you have in that brain, and I'll personally tear you apart!" he snarled. I don't think I've seen so much anger in Jasper's gaze ever. Aaron and Vivian probably, but never have I.

Bucky gulped and nodded and Jasper let him go. "You know its true Wilde. Everything is your fault!" he called out. I felt Aaron's grip on me tighten a good bit before letting my muzzle rest in his shoulder, finding warmth from the early February wind.

However, Bucky was right, everything was my fault because of the argument Viv and I had. And did I ever apologize to her? No, no I didn't!

...............................

After lunch, it was the end of the day and Aaron, Jasper and I went over to mine and Aaron's lockers.

While Aaron was telling Jasper something about track, I stared blankly at my locker, thinking about Vivian and how it's my fault she's in the condition she's in. I felt tears build up in my eyes and thought of only one place where I wanted to be alone.

I got my car keys out and closed my locker, slung my backpack over my shoulders and already started heading down to my car.

I was almost there when I heard Aaron and Jasper run up towards me, calling out for me. I stopped but didn't turn around. I heard Jasper panting heavily while Aaron panted only a little bit.

"H-Hey, Vix, everything okay?" Aaron asked. I bit my lip hard. I so desperately wanted to just sob and wrap my arms around him, feeling his comfort and warmth and scent. I wanted to look into his eyes and tell him that I feel like I'm constantly fucking suffocating in a black hole

But, I only muttered. "Buck is right. Its my fault" my ears lowered and my tail was completely lifeless.

I felt Aaron's paws on my shoulders before letting his chest and stomach pressed up against my back and his chin rested on my head. "Vix, it wasn't your fault. It was just bad fortune for Vivian that it happened."

I wanted to believe Aaron's words, to let them sink in and allow Aaron's comfort to calm me. But I felt even more self blame and I snapped, pulling away.

"It is my fault!" I could tell that the two males were taken aback, but I didn't stop. "It's completely MY fault. Vivian and I had a major argument the weekend before it all happened and I didn't even apologize! Not once! If she dies, I'll never forgive myself cause then it'll all be MY MOTHERFUCKING FAULT!" A panted and felt tears down my face.

My fro was bristling, my ears were glued to my head and I then realized that I snapped at my own friends.

"I-I just need to be alone, right now." I said, my voice cracking before heading to my car and heading over to the place I had in mind....the orchard.