[271] "I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stays empty and I could not have describe it any better."
[272] Mom and Dad,
I'm sorry I'm sad,
I'm sorry for crying,
I'm sorry I'm covered in scars,
I'm sorry I want to die.
I know this isn't what you expected when you held little tiny me in your arms so long ago,
I'm sorry,
I'm so sorry.
[273] "I can't take a pill without thinking about overdosing,"
"I can't cross a street without wanting to jump in front of a car,"
"I can't shave without wanting to slit my wrists,"
"I can't walk along high things without wanting to jump,"
Every moment, every aspect, every vision of my life is changed by this depression and it's killing me.
[274] You know my name, not my stories.
You see my smile, not my pain.
You notice my cuts, not my scars.
You can read my lips, not my mind.
[275] She comes off as strong, but maybe she fell asleep crying.
She acts like nothing is wrong, but maybe she's just really good at lying.
[276] "Do we ever get over it or we just get used to it?"
[277] "Are you okay?"
"Yeah.."
"Are you lying?"
"Yeah.."
[278] "Sometimes I just want to disappear and see if anyone would miss me."
[279] Just a cut, just a scratch.
"What's that mark?"
"It was the cat,"
Just an excuse, just another lie.
"What's with all the bracelets?"
"Just fashion, why?"
Just a tear, just a scream.
"Why are you crying?"
"Just a bad dream,"
But it's not just a cut, a tear, or a lie.
It's always "Just one more," until you die.
[280] "I don't even feel like a friend to some people. I feel more like an option or someone they run to when they need someone."
YOU ARE READING
𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷
Random"Here I go again.. trap in this mess mind.. just a typical depressed girl always been through.." ○ Book filled with depression, sad, anxiety thoughts ○
