[291] When I say I'm ugly, it's because I am. Not because I want you to lie to me and tell me I'm not.
[292] I overthink so much. I even overthink how much I overthink.
[293] I stand between eating and not eating.
Between cutting and staying clean.
Between crying and smiling.
Between fighting and giving up.
[294] "Why people notice everything but they don't get noticed?"
[295] Silence is better than bullshit.
[296] "I don't know what I'm afraid of. To see you again or to never see you again."
[297] When I'm upset, I shut down myself.
I have no motivation for anything.
I tell myself that no one cares, even though some do.
I think about all of the negative things I could possibly think of.
I give myself all the pain thinking I deserve it.
I'm not sure why I do that, but that's just how I am.
[298] MOM: How are you going to explain your scars to your future children?! What about the man you marry?!
ME: The man I will marry will love and accept me for who I am. Scars and all. He will know about how I went through a hard time in my life but I made it. My kids will know that their mommy was hurting and that they will always have me to love and support them. They will know that I'm there for them and that I'll never give up. You just see ugly scars, I see beauty. You see a huge mistake, I see a lesson learned. You see shame, I see strength. I love my scars for that reason.
MOM: *speechless*
[299] That moment when you're falling apart and nobody notices.
[300] I smile all the times so that nobody knows how sad and lonely I really am.
YOU ARE READING
𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓭 𝓪𝓰𝓪𝓲𝓷
Aléatoire"Here I go again.. trap in this mess mind.. just a typical depressed girl always been through.." ○ Book filled with depression, sad, anxiety thoughts ○
