can i lay by your side|corbyn besson

26

"I don't know! I don't know what I was thinking! I've done it before, I didn't think it would have an affect on me!" I shout back. My only defense against the tears is anger so I yell at him as best as I can. Jonah is only trying to be protective but I can't cry in front of him, or anyone.

"What do you mean you've done them before!?" He's let go of my arm by now but I know I can't run away even if I tried.

"You think when I was living on the street, I was never given any!? Of course I've done drugs before!"

"Drugs are not the answer! They're never the damn answer! You're smarter than that!" He yells at me. My vision begins to blur and I know I'm losing my composure.

"I know! I fucking know!" The guys are coming into the room and I run a hand through my hair. "Stop yelling at me! Can everyone just let me live my damn life! This is the second fight in one fucking day! I just- I just want space! I'm my own fucking adult! We just fucking talked about this!" I yell at all of them. Jonah's anger has clearly died down and he looks worried just like the others. "I- I'm not- a child." I stutter, trying to keep down the tears.

"Hey," Corbyn says softly and wraps his arms around me. Once my head rests on his chest, I break down. I sob into his chest and he holds me tightly. I feel another set of arms wrap around me.

"I'm so sorry, Max." Jonah whispers with a shaky voice and I cry harder.

I hear a sniff from beside me and I can tell someone else is crying too. But then I hear another from above me.

"Max-" Corbyn says but his voice is shaky and his voice cracks slightly. "Don't try to hold everything together. Being strong doesn't mean you can't show vulnerability." He gets out with a weak voice.

"We love you Max. Cry as much as you want, we'll always be here to dry your tears." Daniel says and the others join in yet another group hug.

My crying gets slightly lighter as my family surrounds me and my heart begins to form one whole again.

This whole situation feels very familiar, the fight and the group hug after the apologies.

But I love the hug.

I love these boys and I love that they love me no matter what.

These boys are my only family, the only people I can trust with my life, my secrets. They give me love and friendship even though I'm a sarcastic metalhead that can be a pain in the ass. Of course, they can be pains in the ass as well, but that's who they are, my beautiful pains in the ass.

"Thank you." I say with a raspier voice than ever.

"For what?" Someone asks. The voices all kind of sound the same in a group hug.

"For giving me a family to love."