The Nerd Diaries

Lights... Camera... Laughing

The movie set to 'Stopping Alcoholics' was very dull. There were chairs in a circle in the middle of a basement. The walls were made of gray cement and the floors were wooden. My dad was staring at it. I looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

"It's not going to change if you just stare at it, dad" I said.

My dad chuckled. "Well, kiddo. I'm just visualizing how everything is going to go. I'm seeing the movie before we actually shoot the scene." He rubbed his smooth chin. I know it's smooth because he uses my face wash.

"Whatever you say", I said while looking at the crew. "Where is Bryan?"

"He's in his dressing room. Can you go check on him? Tiff is taking care of Pam", He informed me while shooing me. I walked off the set and pulled Rachel with me to Bryan's dressing room. Tiffany is my dad's personal assistant and Pamela Welsh is THE hottest actress in the business. She's also, a handful. My dad told me stories about how she has to have massages before she shoots every scene and how she has to have her hair combed three times a day or she'll shave all of it off. She's crazy but she's really nice.

"Are we going to see Bryan?" Rachel gushed.

"Yeah, this is his dressing room", I said pointing to the door.

"How do you know?"

"It says his name on the door", I knocked on the door. A second later it flew open and a shirtless actor stood in the doorway.

"Fans? I thought this was a closed set?" he asked frantically. I rolled my eyes at his silly assumption.

"Don't flatter yourself. I am not a fan. Nor will I ever be. Rachel on the other hand-"

"Is a huge fan! I love you so much!" Rachel screeched.

"Yeah, yeah. Do you wanna picture or something?" Bryan asked.

"Actually we-"

"Yes!" Rachel yelled, pulling out her phone. She handed it to me and I sighed.

"Say, 'Over paid actor who isn't even that cute'."

"Hey!" he shot back. I smiled and gave Rachel back her phone.

"My dad asked me to come check on you", I informed Bryan. Bryan had a puzzled look on his tired face. "I'm Natalie Saxton." Lightbulb.

"Oh! Come on in, Natalie and Rachel", he abandoned his doorway and sat on the tan couch in his dressing. I sat on the opposite end of the couch while Rachel sat in a metal fold up chair right across from Bryan. I examined his dressing room and saw that the room was littered with Chinese takeout containers.

"What's up with the Chinese containers?" I asked in disgust. Who does he think he is leaving a mess like this?

"The lunch here sucks. I mean, I am a man. Those little chicken Caesar wraps weren't enough for me so I ordered out", Bryan answered while pouring a glass of wine.

I looked at him suspiciously. "Aren't you twenty?"

"I'm also famous so, cheers", he said while raising his glass before chugging it down. I rolled my eyes. He's such a jerk. "You must be famous, too."

I held me hand on my chest. "Me? Oh, no. Just my dad."

"Come on. You could make yourself famous like pull a Kim Kardashian or turn into a Paris Hilton."

"No thanks. I'd rather go to college, get a career and earn my living the harder way."

Bryan chuckled. Of course he wouldn't understand. I hate attention. "What college do you want to go to?"

"Princeton." Bryan did one of those spit takes that would've been hilarious if it didn't get all over Rachel. Rachel looked down on her wine stained dress. If I didn't know it was red wine I would've thought her vagina was cut off or something. Bryan jumped out of his seat and grabbed a couple of napkins from the bathroom.

He started to try and wipe the stain off her floral dress. "I am so sorry. I just didn't think that Natalie was going to say Princeton."

I folded my arms. "You are mean."

Bryan threw a balled up napkin at my face. "Oops." I rolled my eyes at him. I roll my eyes a lot, don't I?

"I think it isn't going to come out", Rachel chuckled. Bryan stopped wiping and looked up at her. Rachel stared deeply into his eyes. A sly smile grew on their faces. I'm in the middle of Barfsville and Killmetown.

A knock on the door broke their little connection."Ten minutes until you have to be on set, Bryan!" yelled a female voice.

"I have to go change now but, I'll see you two on set", said Bryan as he got up from his knees and walked to his bathroom. Obviously he wouldn't give two craps if I was on set or not. He was really talking to Rachel. Rachel leaped out of her seat and hugged me.

"Thank you so much, Natalie. You are the best", she whispered.

"I know. Let's go before he sees you fangirling over him", I said as I got up from the couch. Rachel did the same and we walked to the set.

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"But, you can't take my bottles away without taking a part of me with it", said Bryan, or should I say Thamien, the main character of the movie. He's an alcoholic that goes to rehab and decides to help others with their addiction once he's out.

"Alright guys! That's it for today!" yelled my dad. The crew sighed in relief and quickly tidied up the set. Bryan walked over to Rachel and I with a weird facial expression. I think he was trying to be sexy.

"Rachel. I have a free day tomorrow and I was wondering if you would like to go grab some lunch. Maybe go to the beach?" Bryan asked while grabbing her hand. Rachel giggled.

Oh, brother!

"Sure. As long as Natalie can tag along", Rachel insisted.

"Hell to the no!"

"Come on, Natalie. You can bring a guy with you", she begged.

"Fine."

"It's settled then. Meet me at Ronald's Cafe at two." Bryan kissed Rachel on the cheek and left to his dressing room.

"Are you guys ready to go?" my dad asked. I looked at Rachel who was frozen.

"Yeah." I grabbed Rachel's arm and all three of us left the building. If Rachel and Bryan get married, they better thank me at their wedding!

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A/N

John Stamos as Lester Saxton

Dave Franco as Bryan Freeler.