Im fucking scared

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Ever since I was younger, I was so afraid of being in a relationship

Every single relationship in my family has turned horrible

Whether it was one person using the other, threatening their life, calling the police saying one tried to kill the other, and so much more

I didn't want that

I never thought about myself having a relationship

Almost ten years later, I'm still so fucking scared.

What if that happens to me??

I don't want that to happen to me

Every time I might have a relationship with a guy, I push myself away knowing that something bad might happen

I don't want to do that, but sometimes I feel like I have to

And I hate that

Like what if something is there between me and a guy

I would never know cause I push them away, fucking scared to death that something bad might happen

Maybe someday I won't do that

Someday

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