Scars of your love

Chapter 18

The second I hear the name, the phone slips from my hand and hits the floor with a thud sound.

No. It can't be possible. No. No. No. it is impossible. 

He can't be here. How can he be here, at the same moment can he be here? How do I even know if he is here or not? How can I be so foolish enough to think I can escape from my past just by moving to another city? How can I fucking think that I can outrun my past?

The thought of coming face to face with Matt is god damn terrifying. It has been more than two years since I have laid eyes on him and it wasn't a pleasant one. What will I say when I see him? What will he say? 

Will he tell everyone what has happened back then? What if he makes a living hell for me here? Surely he wouldn't dare to, as much as I am a part of that scandal, there is more for him to lose if it comes out, isn't it? But who says that he will exactly tell the truth. He may fabricate some oknow details and make it look like I am the one who influenced him to take.

No. Yes. No.

I am circling front and back on the topic. Too damn scared to death to think what my new friends will think once they get to know the scandal.

Most importantly what will Alex think?

I have told him most of my past and he is still here but once he gets to know the rest, will he be still here? Will he want to?

Of course not. He will spite at me for all my ill deeds once he gets to know the complete story. Everyone will support Matt again. Once again I will be alone in all this smoke that is my life.

No. No. I shake my head furiously. I shouldn't be thinking like that. Esme has believed me and trusted me through all this. She is the one who protected me from the whispers of everyone. Surely she will stand by me this time also. If Matt will cause some kind of a nuisance, we- Esme and I will surely think of some solution for every problem he throws in my way.

"Tris." I hear my name being shouted in a distance. The sound seems to be so far away from here. "Tris." The sound is trying to bring me back from my thought, I am also trying- hard to lock all these cynical thoughts in a box and throw away the damn key far off. But it is very hard.

"TRIS!" Finally, the sound snaps me out of my gaze. The sound is coming from none other than my phone. I bend to down to gather my phone from the floor.

"Hello. Tris. You there? Hello?" Ali is literally screaming through the phone. I keep the phone far away from the ear for the obvious reasons.

"Yes. Yes. Sweet Jesus. I... I fell down."  I lie.

"Oh and here I was thinking you were kidnapped by the Aliens." She answers back, disappointment lacing her voice.

Typical Ali.

"Fortunately no. So.... is this Matthew Reynolds from.... Chicago?" I approach the topic carefully.

Yeah, I know maybe Mattew Bishop if not Mattew Reynolds. Hopefully, maybe this Mattew is not the same old one. It has always been proven that hope and luck are never on my side.

"No. He said that is from Ohio. Do you know him?" Ali asks suspiciously.

"No." I add quickly. "Of course not. I just thought I heard that name."

I feel a ray of hope shining through my world. But I shut it down quickly. It is too early to tell anything. If it is the same Mattew. I just hope that it isn't.

"Okay, then. Call you later?"

"Yeah. Goodbye."

The moment Ali hangs up, I jump out of my bed swiftly and run to my desk to grab my laptop. Two years back I made I sure that I have deleted all my social accounts, knowing that I will have to use them again. Little did I know I have to use it to find someone.