Eddsworld: Stuck with their biggest enemy (Torm Fusion)

Edd - Threats

I winced when I suddenly heard a lot of screaming coming from the fusion's room. What the hell were they doing...? I was slightly worried Tom and Tord might have hurt Matt - I heard him yell before -, but not enough to actually check it out. As long as they were distracted I could make bacon and eat it all by myself in peace. And nobody else would get a piece. It was one of the few reasons acceptable to completely ignore their shenanigans. That was a brilliant plan! I could pat myself on the back for this one.

I walked into the kitchen and began making breakfast, only for Matt to run into the kitchen in a panic followed by my other two friends, yelling and cursing at him. Yep, this was a totally normal, uneventful morning by our standards.

"Edd! Edd, you won't believe this! Tom and Tord are-!"

I never heard whatever he had tried to tell me because Tom and Tord jumped at him with a roar, leading to all three of them to lie on the ground like a bunch of wet bags.

"If you don't shut up I will-"

"Didn't I tell you that we're not going to speak together?" Tom hissed, digging his nails in Matt's overcoat.

"Really now? You are the one who always does it, Jehovah's witness! It's not my fault you say the same things I do!"

"I will just ignore you all," I sighed and put some tasty bacon on my plate. It really was the best course of action.

"Er... I... we can explain..."

"Edd, they are-"

"Say one more word about what you heard and I swear to every god there is, your 'beauty' will be gone forever," Tord said in a quiet and calm voice, smiling at Matt menacingly.

Matt's eyes dilated in fear and he squeaked, covering his face. "Not the face!"

"You don't need to be THAT mean," Tom muttered. "Don't worry Matt, I won't let him do that to you. But we will absolutely burn your novelty toy collection if you don't listen to us. Do you understand me?" Matt gave a quick nod and bobbed up.

"Good." They sat down at the table and looked at me. "A few... problems are forcing us to stay here. You can go to the cinema with Matt, but we can't."

I stared at them for a few seconds. They couldn't just miss out on all the fun for no reason. I didn't get their attitude. "Why's that?"

He simply held his four arms up. What was the meaning of thi- Wait, four?! Since when were there four?! I gasped and ran up to them to examine this new development.

"How... how did this happen? Did you grow two new arms in your sleep?" It would mean they were slowly separating. Although I was happy for them if it was, a part of me was disappointed. They still weren't that much closer to being friends.

"...no, it was a small accident..."

"Your birth was an accident, Tord! It was because-"

"Shut. Up. Neither right place. Nor right time. To discuss this," Tord hissed through clenched teeth. Matt opened his mouth to say something, but Tord wasn't finished. "And you should also keep your mouth shut. Permanently."

I was so confused. What was even going on right now...? I decided it was better Ito just ignore everything around me. I needed to think about all this when I had time for myself. This was just hell to deal with. "You... will still come with us," I replied after a moment of silence. "It doesn't matter if you look weirder than before. We already made this plan yesterday, I'm not going to let you skip having fun."

"...what? Edd, we have four fucking arms! How's that unimportant to you?!"

"You've had demon hair and black eyes even before all this, and you were fine being stared at. I am sure you can do the same with too many arms. Seriously, it has more positive than negatives."

"That's a completely different thing!" Tom shouted.

"My hair was never a reason I was being stared at!" Tord growled. "Nobody ever cared!"

"Keep lying to yourself, commie."

"I am not lying, you lying son of a-!"

"I guess, I'll just eat all the bacon while you two are busy fighting," I smiled. I picked an especially yummy looking piece with my fork, put it in my mouth and began chewing. They stared at me for a second, their expression constantly shifting between confusion and anger.

"Bacon is not that-"

"BACON!" Tord yelled and used his right hand to quickly stuff some of the bacon in his mouth. While he seemed very happy as he began to drool on his sleeve, Tom made a weird grimace. I couldn't tell if it was anger, fear or something entirely else, but all I knew was that it looked weird. I chuckled at the sight. It was just too hilarious not to.

"What?" Tord frowned at me.

"You look so strange with two expressions on your face!" I snorted. "You should see your face! Matt, let them look in your mirror!" Matt immediately pressed his mirror against his chest, shaking his head vehemently.

"That's not funny, Edd!" Tom clenched his fists.

"Of course it is!"

"It wouldn't be amusing to you if you were fused with Eduardo," they hissed. "Think about that for a second!"

I rolled my eyes. "Like that will ever happen."

"Well actually..." Matt showed us a piece of paper. 'I should write a Tomatoredd and a Edd and Eduardo fusion fanfiction' was written on it in blue ink. Where did he get that...?

"What is this?" I asked as I leaned forward to get a better look at it.

"Where did you get that from?"

"I stole it from the author of this book," Matt answered smugly.

"Er... what...?"

"I... have no idea what you are talking about, Matt. You're being very weird." I looked back at the fusion, trying to ignore what had just happened. "You won't stay here, you'll come with us whether you want to or not."

"And how do you want to make me?"Tord grinned back at me.

"Well, I would definitely stop waking you up for breakfast. Then you won't get bacon anymore. How's that for a reason?" I put another piece of bacon in my mouth as I looked at him expectantly.

Tord gasped. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Of course I would," I chuckled. "You know me..." Matt watched the whole exchange with big eyes.

"Are you really forcing us to come with you for bacon? That won't work with me." Tom rolled their eyes as he leaned back into the chair, crossing his arms.

"And what about Susan? What if she's gone the next time you wake up?"

"If you harm Susan I will-"

"So you will come with us?" I asked, beaming at them.

"Yeah..." They didn't sound very happy about it. "Hey, um, where are we going to watch the film anyway? Aren't the films banned in most cinemas?"

"You know, the one where we watched the other parts together."

"But we stopped going there after the creator made clones of us," Tom said, frowning. "Why are we going back there again like nothing ever happened?"

"Because it's fun to watch the original with added extra scenes, obviously!" I groaned in annoyance.

"Um, the film starts in ten minutes," Matt said as he looked at the tickets. "So I don't think we'll-"

"Then what are we still doing here?! Let's go!"

"But Edd, I'm still in my pyjama!" Matt cried.

"I don't care!"