Eddsworld: Stuck with their biggest enemy (Torm Fusion)

Tord - We're not the ones fighting this time!

"Whatever, I will take out the trash now," Edd sighed and walked out, mumbling to himself, "I hope Matt won't notice that some of this garbage is actually his stuff that I accidentally hit with a shovel." I didn't even want to know why he had been in Matt's room with a fucking shovel in the first place. That just meant getting involved with unnecessary drama.

Wow. That was close.

I know! Stop telling me things I'm already aware of, Tom! And stop talking to me in general while you're at it!

Things you're 'already aware of'? Like what? Edd looking in the journal a few minutes ago while you were busy with that stupid helm? Yeah, sure. Keep dreaming.

I heard an amused chuckle in my mind, but I simply ignored it. He destroyed my life when he deleted my hentai, didn't he see that?! Breaking his bass guitar later would be fair enough.

Don't even think about it, sunshine lollipops.

Stop calling me commie and sunshine lollipops! I hate it.

Why should I? You always call me Thomas and Jehovah's witness. I treat you like you treat me. I thought that was obvious.

Deal with it. Thomas is your first name and you ARE really a Jehovah's witness. You hate Christmas! Those are both known facts!

Then you shouldn't tell me to stop calling you names, Tord. You being a commie is also a fact.

Tom was so annoying. No wonder I hated him. It used to be different when we were kids, but after Matt gave a gun to a bear for some reason I will never understand, it kind of... stopped. Back then we were all best friends, just like Edd and Matt. Tom got bullied by a few cowards, but I was the one who helped him. In return, I teased him. Then he changed someday and started fighting back against the bullies. I was sad he didn't need me anymore. And then one day... we simply started becoming rivals, enemies even. But I didn't care. Our friendship was so short-lived, so long ago that I barely remembered it. Did it even count? In the end, I would have betrayed him anyway, just like Matt and Edd even if we were still friends. It would have changed nothing in the long run.

Whatever. I think we need something to drink now.

We walked out of our room, the hands in the hoodie pocket to drink something in the kitchen that WASN'T alcoholic, probably cola (Edd would kill us for sure, but for someone who just lost all of their hentai because of some idiot it wasn't all that important), but when we arrived there we heard yelling coming from outside through a half-opened window. We froze, unsure how to react.

"What's going on out there?" Tom asked.

"How should I know?" I snarled. "I'm not a fortune teller!"

We walked to the window and peeked out of it, careful to not get spotted. Edd stood on the grass, clenching his fists while shouting at three guys on the other side of the wooden fence. I guess these were their neighbors. They grinned smugly like idiots. It was easy to see why Edd was pissed off. The one in the middle, a man in green who was obviously the leader of their little gang, said something. Did I... know them from somewhere? They seemed a bit familiar...

"I knew it! It's Eduardo and his gang, just like always," Tom muttered. "Do they have any other hobbies than that? Or jobs... oh wait, we don't have jobs either..."

That guy was Eduardo? Then the other two guys must be Jon and Mark. That explained why they looked so familiar to me: they were old classmates. And it seemed like Eduardo still hadn't gotten tired of his hobby to annoy Edd at any chance, follow him around like a parasite to taunt him at any chance he got.

"Did they only move here to annoy all of you?" A question I felt might already be clear, but wanted to have answered nonetheless.

"I think so...? There were a lot of houses that were getting sold by the time he moved here, but he took the house next to us. You can guess why."

"And Jon and Mark are still the same they were back then?"

"Yep. Jon is still not actually saying his own opinion and just repeats whatever Eduardo tells him to. Mark is even talking less than he did back in school, in my opinion at least. It lets him be more 'mysterious' and stuff like that."

"Who said that?" I frowned.

"Laurel."

"Laurel? Isn't that the girl with blue hair Eduardo liked so much?"

"Yeah. She was his girlfriend for a while."

"How did you get to talk with her when Eduardo never let her before? He was always really overprotective over her, I don't think that changed."

"Uh, well... she came to us when we were searching for actors for our Space Cats film. I still don't know why the hell she was the one who got the role. Shoe killed her when the film was finished though. Eduardo... still doesn't know she is dead. I hope it stays that way..." Who the hell was Shoe?

"Stop fighting!" someone yelled from behind us. We turned around, one eyebrow raised. Matt was glaring at us, his arms crossed.

"We aren't even fighting."

He gave us a puzzled look. "Huh?"

Tom sighed. This was going to be annoying, we both knew. "Look, we are standing in front of you. Obviously minding our own business. Just talking as weird as that is. This time we're not the ones fighting."

He still didn't get it. Seriously? Tom groaned loudly. Luckily, I wasn't running out of patience, unlike Tom.

"Matt, Edd is outside and is arguing with Eduardo. Just look through the window."

"Ooooooh. Okay." I didn't think he really got anything, but honestly, I didn't care about it as long as he left me alone.

"We should probably help him."

"Agreed." And later I would break Tom's bass guitar.

If you really do this... Tom growled. I felt my fists clenching.

It's just a joke, Thomas. Calm down. It totally wasn't a joke.

Tord... this is your last warning...