Eddsworld: Stuck with their biggest enemy (Torm Fusion)

Edd - Enough is enough

The sun had begun to disappear behind the houses of our neighborhood. It had started to get dark outside and I was beginning to get tired. It had been a long, stressful day and Tom and Tord were STILL fighting. Honestly, the whole fusion thing wasn't as bad as they made it out to be. Sure, things were a little rocky, but it might actually have a positive effect on their friendship, even make them actual friends. Unfortunately, they were stubborn idiots. They really thought it was such a horrible thing that they managed to work together like they hadn't just made the first step in the right direction. They didn't even seem to want to fix things between them. Rather, they started arguing about WHO made this whole thing work in the first place. Who had walked more steps. Tom and Tord didn't want it to be real, they'd much rather lie to themselves and distract themselves by arguing about who did it. It was just pitiful to watch.

So me and Matt had decided to watch TV and not to help them with their problems. Professor Why was on TV, but the show was hardly enjoyable thanks to its plot conveniences. It was a lot more interesting to listen to what Tom and Tord were shouting at each other.

"I was the one who did most of the work! Stop trying to take credit for something you weren't all that involved in!"

"You are lying, you know I was more active than you. You're just good at trying to be the boss and failing miserably."

"You have no idea what you're talking about! Just like every time you open your fucking mouth! As soon as I am no longer fused with you I will kill you!!!!" Tord hissed.

"I'd love to see you try! You aren't smart enough to kill me, we've already seen that! I will find your stupid Hentais and BURN them!" Tom cackled.

"Your Tomee Bear and... what was that name of your dumb bass guitar again? Susie? Susan? Whatever, I will take a gun and shoot them until you beg for forgiveness!" Tord laughed maniacally.

"Don't you DARE do any of that! I will... I will destroy all your guns and other weapons you have! I'll make sure you get to watch real close as I bury them on the bottom of the ocean!"

"Don't you think we should... help them?" Matt asked quietly, his hands fidgeting. The fusion's constant yelling obviously made him nervous and probably even scared. There had never been this much fighting between Tom and Tord before, so I could see why. According to Matt, they had tried to kill each other when I was away, so that made things even more complicated.

"I think they're fine. They just need to finally calm down," I huffed.

"But Edd, they're in the kitchen. They can still try to stab each other if they get a drawer open." Matt dug his nails into his overcoat as he stared in their direction.

I hadn't actually thought about that until Matt mentioned it. Somehow I had completely overlooked this. "You are... right. Huh." I stood up with a groan and walked back to the kitchen, Matt trailing behind me.

The fusion was lying on the ground and yelling profanities at each other, as usual. They didn't even stop when we came in. They didn't even seem to notice us.

"Er... Tom? Tord?" I asked. Matt stared at them from over my shoulder. He was using me as a shield if they attacked, I realized to my annoyance.

"-and you want to tell me, I AM an asshole?! You are-!!" They didn't even listen to me! I could have been somewhere else entirely, I could die right in front of them, and they wouldn't even notice!

"You can call me whatever you want, I don't care AT ALL! Your insults are dumb anyway!"

"Edd wants to-", Matt said, but he couldn't finish his sentence. That was enough!

"Oh, but you will care if I-"

"BOTH OF YOU, SHUT UP!" I finally yelled as my patience had worn out. The fusion stared at me with wide eyes and opened their mouth to say something. Tom or Tord, I didn't care about who it was. I was done with both of them. "No, I don't want to hear whose fault this is and who started it. - No, let me finish! - Me and Matt are going to carry you back into your room now and you will go to sleep without a fuzz and think about what happened! As long as you act like kids, you'll be treated like one! Do you understand me?!"

Torm gave a quick nod. They looked absolutely terrified. Good, then they'd finally listen.

Matt carefully grabbed their left arm and I grabbed the other arm and yanked them up, not bothering to be gentle. Their right for nice treatment had been revoked for now. This time they didn't swear, but I knew that would happen soon enough. I just wished for them to get along. To be friends. Why couldn't they see that?

It hurt to see them fight all the time. I had been so happy when Tord returned and I thought he would maybe finally get along with Tom, but I had been mistaken. Their fights had gotten even worse than it was before he left. I was starting to get numb to it.

We carried the fusion back into their room and threw them onto Tom's bed. "Edd, I-"

"I don't want to hear it!" I interrupted Tord, putting my hand on their mouth. Matt didn't seem happy when the weight was suddenly unbalanced,  but I didn't care. Then, I sighed. "Look, I don't really want to force you two to get along and become friends, but as long as you remain enemies your chance to reverse this is close to zero. Even I can see that."

Matt had already snuck back and was impatiently waiting for me by the door. But before I got back to him I wanted to tell these idiots how I felt. They had to know how much they hurt everyone around them because maybe - just maybe - that would get them to stop. "You think you're only hurting each other with your idiotic fights. But have you ever even spared a thought on the people you're also hurting? I don't think so. How do Matt and I think I feel when you two are always fighting? Do you think we like hearing you make death threats? Just think about that." I turned around and walked out, not looking back once. They said nothing. Typical. Maybe they were affected by my words.  Maybe they weren't. I sighed as I closed the door to their room. This was just such a mess.

"Edd?" Matt asked after a moment of silence.

"Yes, Matt?" I rubbed my eyes and yawned. This whole ordeal was really tiring me out.

"Do you think there is a chance they... won't be able to unfuse?" he finally muttered.

"Until they stop fighting the chances are low, but..." I looked at him, giving him a weak smile. "You know, they think they are the only ones who are suffering. They don't realize it's hard for us as well. Before they fused I didn't even know it was possible. It's all so...conFUSING." I relaxed while I said this. It always calmed me down and because I didn't know any fusion puns I used the one I had already made. I was going to have to think of new ones.

Matt burst out into laughter. "Let's watch TV a bit," he smiled. "That will make us feel better!"

"You will admire yourself in the mirror again, won't you?"

"Yup, but that doesn't mean I can't watch TV at the same time!" I rolled my eyes.