Try Me

34.

-Closure

My first thought when TJ and I arrived at the rehab facility was that it looked more like a country club than anything else, but I guessed that it was the only way that my father would sign on for any kind of treatment. TJ parked and we both had our two minutes of doubt before we exited the car; we were too close to the end to turn back. I was nervous and tried my best to instill some courage into myself as we got closer and closer to the entrance.

"How the fuck is he staying here but they couldn't help us pay for school? Fuckin' assholes." TJ muttered under his breath.

"I wouldn't want to take anything from them either way; it would cost too much in the end." Although it would have lessened the strain on my brother and me, I was certain that the conditions of their help wouldn't have been worth it. It made our individual successes all the more amazing because we did it on our own with no help from the Price family. They were all too comfortable with taking ownership of everything good while denying everything bad.

"You're probably right but still, they're the worst." TJ approached the front desk and we were told to sign in while they let Theodore know that he had visitors, about fifteen minutes later we were ushered into an upscale looking cafeteria where our father was sitting with his two sisters. I squeezed TJ's hand and gritted my teeth.

Of course they would involve themselves, the three of them stood when they saw us coming. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes and turning around.

"Hello." I said with a tight lipped smile; I wasn't going to pretend like I wanted to be there.

TJ nodded in acknowledgment and we both sat down on the opposite side of the table, "So what did you want to talk about?" He tried his best to sound neutral.

My father cleared his throat, "I need you both to leave while I talk to them." He said to his sisters who immediately stuck their noses up.

"If we must, the two of you better be on your best behavior!" Vivian seethed as she got up from the table, that time I did roll my eyes because I didn't know who she thought she was talking to.

We sat in painful silence after they walked away, my father was looking at everything but us which made me believe that he may have actually felt remorse.

He cleared his throat once more and clasped his fingers together, "I'm not going to insult your intelligence by simply saying sorry. I'm going to explain everything to you two and then you can choose what to do with the information; nothing I say is an excuse for my despicable actions."

I nodded and reached for TJ's hand, "Go ahead."

"I started losing my mind when your mother got sick and I completely fell off the rails when she died. Some people cling harder to their children when they lose their spouse but I hated you both." I flinched. "I resented you, you look like her and I felt like the world was mocking me; it was easier to stay away and I know that it was fucked up and disgusting. I ran away from my life and left two kids to fend for themselves. Sometimes I would try to be there for you both but it never lasted long, I started drinking just because I needed something to do but that only made my actions worse. Through this program I've separated myself from the alcohol; for others they realize that it was the alcohol that made them act out but for me I was left with the realization that it was all me, alcohol only made it worse."

TJ blew a breath out, "I'm going to be honest with you man, I'm glad that you're getting your act together but it's too late. The way me and Kira had to grow up was awful and I mean no offense by this but I think you need to get a psychological evaluation."

Theodore chuckled humorlessly, "I've been in therapy since I arrived here two months ago and unfortunately that would be giving me another free pass. I wanted to hate you both, I wanted to punish you and make you suffer like I suffered every time I looked at you. I can't blame that on the alcohol and I can't blame that on my grief. It wasn't right and I sincerely apologize for the pain I caused you both. However I am inclined to agree with you son, I've said and done too much for this conversation to repair. You both deserve to know everything but I truly don't expect forgiveness. I'll be here if you ever want to talk about this more; even if it takes you twenty years; it's what I deserve."