Dark inside (Solby)

Adventure

Sams POV

This fucking sucks. I hate feeling like I'm nothing. Feeling like I have to be babied the entire time. But somehow, somehow Colby always knew how to take my mind off of everything. Whether it was a video we filmed or an adventure we take. He always took care of me. Just like today.

"Babeeee" I heard him call from downstairs. I had just woken up. He always wanted me out of the room by 10 to be safe. I groaned and slowly rolled out of bed, throwing on his hoodie and sweats before walking downstairs. I was in one of my moods again. Feeling like everything was hopeless and that I was dragging him down and ruining his life. I plopped on one of the chairs at the kitchen table as I sighed and put my chin on my arms. Colby could tell I was in a mood and he walked over to me, gently kissing the side of my neck.

"How about we go on a special adventure today?" He asked softly and I closed my eyes and shrugged.

"Sure. We can get out of the house" he smiled and ruffled my hair before making me pancakes for breakfast. "Do I get to know where we are going?"

"Nope it's a surprise" he said smiling as he started to rock out to music. I couldn't help but smile as I watched him and I sighed. He was honestly so beautiful I didn't know how I ended up with someone like him. He was wearing shorts and wasn't wearing a shirt so I could see his muscles tense and relax as he danced. I grinned and stood up, walking over to him and slowly kissing along his shoulder blades. He laughed lightly and smiled as he stopped dancing so I could kiss all along his back. When he was done making breakfast he turned around and kissed me softly.

"Come on baby boy let's go sit down and eat." I smiled and giggled a little, like a genuine two year old Sammy giggle, which made Colby's eyes light up as we walked back to the table. I hopped in the chair and Colby put the chocolate chip pancakes in front of me and all of them had smiling faces making me squeal and clap. Colby smiled and kissed the top of my head before sitting across from me as we ate breakfast. When we finished he picked me up and carried me upstairs and set me on the bed

"What does my pretty princess feel like wearing today?" He asked with a smile and I sat there curiously. I then pointed to a pastel blue long sleeve and then he also pulled out a pair of jeans and my white vans. He got me dressed and kissed the side of my head with a smile and helped me to my feet. We walked back downstairs and he grabbed his keys before walking to his car. I hopped in the car and he put a Disney playlist disk in his radio before starting the car. The instant the music started playing I was singing along and dancing about which made him laugh and smile as he watched me for a second before pulling out of the driveway and driving to our surprise destination. It wasn't exactly little space, I still felt like I didn't deserve to slip into my headspace, but part of it was there and that was comforting. As he drove I watched as the trees flew by, but those got boring and I turned and looked at Colby. His eyes were sparkling, and I hadn't seen them do that in awhile. He had the biggest smile on his face and he was happy, he was relaxed. And I realized suddenly that he looked so happy because I was happy. Because I wasn't tearing myself down today and instead I was enjoying myself. That's when I remembered how it was like for me when Colby was suicidal in high school. I did everything in my power to make him happy because seeing him happy made me happy. It made me feel like I was doing something right, that I was building him up, even if it all came crumbling down in a matter of seconds. I reached over and smiled, lacing my fingers with his. He glanced over at me with the biggest grin and he lazily traced circles on the back of my hand as Snow White songs started playing. We started singing and I rocked my head back and forth to the beat as I felt the darkness being pulled back from my heart and mind. This adventure, was making more progress then the others had I just wasn't sure what was different. Colby then pulled into a parking lot but he wouldn't tell me which building we were going into, he said I had to wait just a few more seconds and that made me bouncy.

"Daddyyyyy" I whined "I wanna know now." I said bouncing in my seat with excitement making him laugh.

"Hold on babyboy hold on." Hs parked the car and climbed out of it as I quickly unbuckled my seatbelt. He then opened my door and picked me up, holding me close as he started to walk to the arcade. My eyes went wide and I giggled clapping happily as he held me tightly. "Do you remember when we went here in Kansas sammy?" I nodded and rested my head on his shoulder.

"It was the first time I hung out with you. We went to the arcade and bonded over crappy pizza and old video games." He laughed lightly and smiled as he kissed the top of my head.

"Exactly. So I thought it would be fun if I brought you here. For old times sake" I smiled and nodded happily as he carried me inside and my eyes lit up. There were so many pretty lights and sounds I almost couldn't believe it. When he bought our cards the lady at the counter looked at me and I instantly got self conscious.

"How old?" She asked with a smile "mentally?" I relaxed and nuzzled closer to Colby who gently rubbed my back.

"Right now I think he's about five. He's usually two...but the last week has been hard." She nodded and reached under the counter and handed me a lollipop.

"Here you go sweetheart." I took it happily and let out a small thank you as I instantly put it in my mouth. "Mines been in that hard spot too. She got over it thank god, but I learned the little things help more than the big ones." Colby nodded and smiled as he gently ran his fingers through my hair.

"Yea I've figured that out too." She smiled and nodded sending us on our way. We played for hours, mostly playing older games like Pac-Man and centipede. It was perfect, this made me forget about all of my problems and helped me feel so much better. As we were trying to figure out what to blow the last few credits we had when I passed a massive claw machine and froze. There was a massive, fluffy unicorn in the machine and I wanted it very badly.

"Daddy" I squeaked as I grabbed his arm and he laughed a little. He already knew what I wanted. "Unicorn. Pretty unicorn. Want. Please." I asked with big eyes and he smiled.

"Sure princess. Let's go see if I can get you your unicorn." He stood in front of the machine and swiped his card. And you know what? He got the unicorn on the first try. The first freaking try. I watched him in awe as he handed me my unicorn as I hugged it close to me.

"Thank you thank you thank you" I squealed quietly as I held the unicorn and he smiled kissing me softly.

"You're welcome princess. Now come on let's go get some lunch."  He lead me out of the arcade and I felt so happy. I had forgotten what feeling genuinely happy felt like until today, but Colby knew exactly what to do to make me feel better and he did just that