Dark inside (Solby)

Trouble

Colby's POV

I knew something was wrong but I didn't know it was this bad. I didn't know he was trapped in that prison of sadness and depression. Sam wasn't eating much, and he was barely talking to us. He was distant, and sad and lost in thought most of the time. He would hide in the room and he always wore long sleeves and sweatshirts doing everything he could to cover his wrists. I could tell he was cutting it was like a sixth sense. Those who cut could sense those who cut, by how they talk and their body language. I tried to talk about it to him but every time I got close to it he would change the subject. I wished he would just be honest with me. I wish he would just tell me so I could help him. But I knew I couldn't push it, he's hide more if I did.

The guys and I decided we would go out today, but I wasn't actually going to leave the house. I didn't want to leave him alone when he was like this. So I walked upstairs to find Sam once again curled up on the bed. I walked over to him and sat on the end of the bed and gently rubbed his back.

"Hey baby you alright?" He meekly nodded. "The guys and I are going out. You wanna come with us?" He shook his head no and he wouldn't look at me. "Are you sure? It'll make you feel better"

"I'll be alright" his voice was horse and his eyes were glassy. I defiantly wasn't gonna go out.

"Okay...." I said softly, kissing the side of his head before I slowly stood up and closed the door. I walked down the stairs and sat on the couch, waving for the guys to go on without me. I explained how I wasn't comfortable with leaving Sam alone the way he was. They nodded and waved goodbye before taking off. I stayed on the couch and strolled through my phone, having the worst gut feeling that something bad was gonna happen and I didn't know what it was.

Sams POV

Once I heard the door close I curled into a tiny ball, wincing when I pulled my knees to my chest. They were finally leaving me alone, and I could finally rid Colby of the burden I had become. I took deep breaths and closed my eyes, imagining all the sweet moments I've had with him, the beautiful kind ones that have made my life perfect. I smiled sadly as the imagines flooded my now silent head and I slowly climbed out of bed and grabbed a knife I had hidden under it. Then I slowly walked from our bedroom to the bathroom and closed the door, locking it.

Colby's POV

As I was sitting downstairs I heard the door click close and I heard him crying.

"Oh no" I sighed and stood up and started walking up the stairs. I thought he was gonna leave more scars and I could just catch him in the act so I could help him and he couldn't deny it anymore. When I got to the bathroom door and I tried to turn the handle and found it is locked. My worry spiked and I leaned against the door trying to figure out what he was doing.

"He won't have to worry anymore." He mumbled to himself. "I know I know it's what you want. Let me say goodbye to the soul I have ruined first. Shut up. Shut up or I'll make you wait longer. That's what I thought." It was quiet for a second and I almost broke the door down but I heard him talking again. "He never deserved me. Someone else should be taking care of him. He needs to be a protected and loved and cherished. He needs to be able to enter headspace but I've been holding him back. I always hold him back" I heard something jingle and I realized he was holding my collar. I whispered quietly on instinct and I heard him laugh bitterly. "What my suffering isn't enough? You want to play tricks on me too? He doesn't care for me, how could he? I'm such a mess and I'm only dragging him down." I heard him spin the blade and that's when I had enough. I grabbed the Bobby-pin from our room and quickly picked the lock when I heard him hissing slightly and I threw the door open. Tears were streaming down his face and he had the knife at his throat. I could tell he was scared and he froze when he saw me, then only cried more.

"Sam stop it please" I ran to him and pulled the knife out of his hand and threw it across the room.

"No....you're not real. You're not here. You're out with Corey Elton and Jake. Stop it. I don't need these tricks stop please. Please just let me do what you wanted!"

"Sam. Sam look at me!" I held his face in my hands and made him look at me. "I'm real. I'm right here and I know what you're going through and I want to help you. I love you. So
so much and I want to help you. Let me help you. Please. I can't lose you." His eyes were a transparent blue full of tears as he looked at me before he collapsed into my arms and sobbed hard. I sighed as I held him close to me and I rubbed his back.

"I-I'm sorry" he mumbled through his sobs as he clung to me weakly. "I-I'm just so scared of breaking you. I-I couldn't live with myself if I did such a thing."

"I'll be okay. I promise. I can help you through this. I can fix you. And I make the voices go away forever." He nodded slowly as he had tears sliding down his face. I pulled him as close to me as possible and I kissed his forehead. "You're gonna be okay" I said rolling up hs I sleeve. "These aren't scars. They're symbols. Symbols of your bravery, and your strength, and the heart you have. These scars tell the world the warrior you are." He looked up at me and he gave a sad laugh. 

"That's what I told you."

"And it's true. Now I'm telling it to you." He sighed and nuzzled his head into my chest as I held him close. It was going to take a long time, and he was going to feel weak for a long time, but I knew I could get him through this, just like he did for me. I was gonna help him through this, whatever it takes