Napakamot ako sa batok ko. She's scanning my room. I'm sure malinis naman dito pero ewan ko ba, baka may makita siya tapos may sabihin na naman siya.
"You changed your walls?" Tanong niya bago maglakad papalapit sa kama ko. Hinawakan niya yung blanket ko bago ako lingunin.
"Ah? Oo. Oo. How did you know?"
Tinuro niya yung wall sa likod ng full length mirror sa kwarto. "They missed a spot."
Tumango ako. Sabi na nga ba, may sasabihin na naman siya.
Naglakad siya papunta sa may sofa saka umupo.
"W-Wait!"
"Hmm?"
"You sleep on the bed. Ako na sa couch." Alok ko.
I don't know why I'm doing this. I don't know her pero heto ako, sharing my room with her, I even gave her my bed.
"Okay." Lumipat siya sa kama ko saka humiga.
Napaiwas nalang tuloy ako ng tingin. Kung makahiga siya akala mo hindi siya nakaskirt.
"Carter?" Tawag niya.
"Hmm?" Wag kang titingin.
"Anong ginagawa mo diyan?"
Umiling ako. "Wala."
Naglakad ako papalapit sa drawer ko at ikinuha siya ng T-shirt at isa sa mga boxer shorts ko. Di naman siguro magkakasya sa kanya yung shorts o pants ko.
"Uhh... change into these." Ibinaba ko yung damit sa paanan niya.
Hindi na siya sumagot pa, tumayo siya at pumasok sa bathroom.
"Nico?" Kumatok si Mom mula sa labas ng kwarto ko. "Nico, please, you have to talk to me."
Napasapo nalang ako sa noo ko. "What do you want?"
"Will you please open the door, son? Please. Talk to me."
Binuksan ko yung pinto at sinalubong niya ako ng yakap. "Di ba sabi ko sayo, wag mong ila-lock yung pinto?"
"Sorry." I looked away.
I hate seeing her like this. Laging takot, laging hindi mapakali as if she's going to lose me.
Hinila niya ako papaupo sa kama ko. Sana lang wag lumabas si Rose.
"Is Stephen here?" Tanong niya nang bumukas yung shower sa bathroom.
Agad akong umiling. "Water's hot. Pinapalamig ko lang."
"Baka hindi mo lang naayos yung heater," Hinawakan ko yung kamay niya nang mapansing papatayo siya. "Oh? I'm just going to check your heater."
"Okay na yun, ma." Kinuha ko yung envelope sa kamay niya. "What is this?" Pagkuha ko ng attention niya.
Binuksan ko ito. "Why do you have this?"
"Your doctor gave me this." Oh. So, she's still going to make me go to a psychiatrist.
"Mom, I told you. I'm fine. It was just a dream."
Her lips quivered and I can tell, paiyak na siya. "It all started with a dream, too." She reminded.
I was in a very bad place last year. I was hurting myself and everyone around me. Natatakot lang siyang umabot ulit ako doon.
"Okay." I sighed, defeated. She's right. Wala namang mawawala if I give this one more try. Baka nga matulungan niya na ako this time.
"Okay?" Hindi siya makapaniwala na napapayag niya na ako. "Okay like, you're finally going?"
I nodded my head. "Yeah, wala namang mawawala."
Niyakap niya ako. "Dahil diyan, hindi na ako magre-reheat. Magluluto ako." I fake groaned. "Magpadeliver ka nalang."
Mahina niyang hinampas yung braso ko. "That's so rude, Dominic!" Tumawa kami parehas.
Tumayo na siya. "Come downstairs after you take your shower. Iri-reheat ko lang yung uwi ko." I gave her a thumbs up as she close my door.
"Carter?" Agad kong tinago sa drawer ng bedside table yung envelope na ibinigay ni mom.
"You're done?"
"Was that your mom?"
"Ahh oo," Hinarap ko siya. "Tapos... ka na?" I stuttered.
She's not tall but she has a really fair skin. At yung legs niya hindi rin naman ito flawless, may mga scars siya pero bakit ganun? Hindi naman weird tignan sa kanya.
And why does my shirt look nicer on her?
Napansin niya naman sigurong napatingin ako kaya medyo umatras siya. "Pangit 'no? Sorry." Itinaas niya yung braso niya at iniipit yung buhok niya sa likod ng tenga niya.
Why is she saying sorry? And what are those marks on her arms?
We fell into an uncomfortable silence after that.
"Carter?" Tawag sa akin ni mom galing sa baba.
"Tawag ka." I nodded. "Right right."
Tumayo na ako at naglakad papalapit sa pinto. "I'll bring you food."
Nagthumbs lang siya saka sumampa sa kama at humiga.
She must be so tired. "Uhm, sige bye." I awkwardly waved at her. What are you doing Dom? Just go already.
━━━━━━━━━━
Why am I here? Hindi pa rin malinaw but what really bothers me is him.
"Ano bang ginagawa mo, Carter?" I reached for the envelope inside his drawer.
I carefully read through the lines.
Halos hindi ako makapaniwala sa mga nababasa ko or should I say, ayokong paniwalaan yung mga nababasa ko.
I'm so sorry, Carter.
━━━━━━━━━━
Tulog na si Rose nang makabalik ako ng kwarto. Ibinaba ko yung plate na itinakas ko pa paakyat sa bedside table para ayusin sana yung blanket niya kaya lang ngayong malapitan, hindi lang pala basta marks yung nakita ko kanina.
They were cuts.
Yung iba mukhang pagaling na at yung iba mukhang bago pa.
I don't have to ask her to know why she did this. It's obvious. They were hurting her. Kaya siguro siya umalis sa kanila.
I somehow feel responsible for her. I mean, kahit naman siguro ibang tao, kung makita siya sa ganitong kalagayan mararamdaman ito.
Patalikod na sana ako nang hawakan niya yung kamay ko. "Hmm?"
"I'm sorry." She said, her eyes fixated on mine.
"What are you saying sorry for?"
Tumahimik siya sandali bago sabihing, "For this — for everything."
I chuckled. "Okay, that's too much. Wala yun. I'm sure, gagawin rin naman ng iba 'to."
"I don't think they would." She sighed. "Sige, tulog ka na." Tumalikod siya sa akin.
I think I know why I was so curious about her this morning. She's just like me. Kahit hindi ko siya kilala, kahit kanina ko lang siya nakita, naramdaman ko agad siya.
We're both hurting. And if I can't help myself, then I will do everything in my power to help her.
━━━━━━━━━━
(unedited:10/21/18 5:26 pm)
BINABASA MO ANG
Black Rose (✔️)
Romance❝the darker the night, the brighter the stars shine❞ first published: 10/12/18 latest update: 12/13/18 done publishing: - hey, you. if you need someone to talk to, im here. whatever that is, im here. n pls always remember that He's in our hearts. we...
