혼자 》Poetry

-=Anxiety=-

I'm a prisoner in my own mind
It keeps telling me i'm shit, a waste of space,
fucking up my life.
I sit here feeling sorry for myself, knowing full well that as each day goes by,
the less opportunities I have.
It's a daily reminder that i'm running out of time.
These are the thoughts that burden my mind, keep me up at night, make me realise that however hard I try I am not fine.
I'm tired.
Tired of pretending and living this lie,
I'm not alright and I haven't been for awhile.

I'm sick to death of feeling sad, walking around with a heavy heart,
putting all my energy into just being okay
- when i'm not.
I'm weak, emotional, fragile.
I put up a strong game face,
but all you need to do is ask me the right questions and it'll all come pouring out.
The dark thoughts, anxiety, self doubts,
how sometimes I just need to sit in a room by myself, to calm the thoughts in my head down.
Cos you see on the outside everything is still, everything feels calm, but up in here, in my mind,
it is so fucking loud.
I feel everything at once, it's killing me, i'm losing my mind.
Tell me how do I escape? When my worst demons are on the inside.
I'm buried alive,
It's an endless battle between my life and my mind - and it's time for me to admit that i'm losing this fight.
I'm watching my personality slowly die,
I'm giving in to it, i'm going into Anxiety's side.

I just want it to stop!

But it wont stop, it never stops.
It controls you, eats you up,
makes you believe, that it's all your fault.