혼자 》Poetry

-=How To Get A Guy To Like You=-

How to get a guy to like you, what are you 13?
You seriously need google's help in 2019,
Look if you need advice I'm right here,
Okay what you got? I'm all ears.

Well, my advice has a 5% success rate,
that's higher than what you have now, isn't that great!
Not really
Hey how bout be a little more grateful okay?

Alright look, just be you,
Unless you're really uncool - in which case I'd probably stick with awkwardly staring at them from across the room.
Seriously
What? It's the truth.

Okay maybe that's a little harsh.
Let's bring it back a little and restart.
Everyone knows you need to be pretty -
great
..and have a good face.
I'm kidding
It's all about the personality babe
Be unique and funny
and he'll go insane.

You really suck at giving advice.

Rude,
Okay a guy comes up to you what do you do?
Feel awkward and pretend to be on my phone.
..yeah you're gonna die alone.

Look I'm not confident okay,
I can't just go up to someone and be like, hey,
I'm awkward, nervous and incredible shy,
Who am I kidding I'll never find a guy.

Wow you're really pathetic,
Gee thanks,
but strangely I feel like you still might have a chance.
Really,
Take it easy,
It's still early days, but with my help, maybe.

Look obviously this is all tongue and cheek
Cos the truth is their is no guide book
There is no right or wrong
The only standard is finding someone who likes you for you
So just be yourself,
and if that means being really awkward, and weird and strange looking and shy,
You embrace that about yourself and don't settle for any guy.

You need to love yourself first before looking for anyone else.
Woah I never really thought that you'd actually help.
No need to seem that shocked, but yeah you're right,
I told you I'm good at this stuff, it works 5% of the time.

The secret is being happy
Once you're happy you won't even have to try,
Life has a way of working itself out and one day,
you'll just find your perfect guy.
So stop trying to change yourself to please someone who you don't even know.
Figure out who you are first, and the rest will just show.
You got to stop feeling sorry for yourself and own it.
Go look at yourself in the mirror and be like woah I'm fit.
That's kinda weird man.
Yeah I know I was doing so well.
Well I think this is over now, but thanks for the help.
I'm not really sure how to end this...
So I'm just gonna say goodbye,
But thanks for this conversation and the surprisingly good advice.