혼자 》Poetry

-=Dear Bully=-

Dear bully,

You control every aspect of my life and have infected my brain,
make me feel so small that I start to believe that I'm the one to blame,
like it's my fault things have turned out this way,
and I can't do it anymore,
I'm going insane.
I'm serious. I'm done.
I'm tired of always being the victim to your fun.
I can't take it anymore,
I hope you're happy now, you've won.

When will it stop?
You keep pushing me and pushing me.
Feel like I'm caught up in this wave, struggling to breathe,
Trying so hard to keep my head up, but man,
I'm drowning in this sea.

I just don't know what I did to deserve all of this?
Why do you feel the need to belittle and shame me in front of everybody?
Is it to make me feel bad?
cos if it is then you're too late, cos I hate myself already.

Thanks to you I no longer feel safe,
As I walk down the corridors I can literally feel my heart race,
You made it very clear that I don't belong in this place,
Constantly going in to school terrified, not knowing what's gonna come my way,
I live each and every day afraid,
and that's all on you.
How can you live with yourself knowing you treat people this way?
And how messed up must you be to still think of yourself as great,
You're literally fuelled by negativity and hate.

I may be weak, I may be uncool,
But you find enjoyment from watching people suffer,
What does that say about you?
And everyone laughing along in the crowd,
watching someone get bullied,
you're all just as bad too.
I don't want to live in a world where kids can be so cruel.
So how about you spend less time judging people and more time trying to understand them.
Try and spend a day in their shoes.

I want you to know that your words don't hurt, they bleed,
they're not just the bruises on my skin, they cut deep,
infiltrate my mind and haunt me in my sleep.
They are, the sole reason to my constant anxiety.

Thanks to you I started walking with my head down.
always nervous, flinching when anyone's around,
Too scared to raise my voice or make a sound.
Cos I know that would lead to trouble.
I can't remember the last time I laughed, or was even happy.
You get so used to being treated like nothing that it doesn't hurt anymore,
you just feel empty.

I have one question - why?
what messed you up so bad that you found enjoyment out of making others cry?
Thanks to sick people like you,
Innocent people have died.
Cos they feel like there's no way out for them other than suicide.
You know that right?
Do you get some sick pleasure out of that,
Does it make you feel good inside, knowing your actions is literally destroying lives.
How do you live with yourself?
How do you sleep at night?

This one's for the people who are pushed and shoved,
constantly brought down,
made to feel like they're not good enough
Who despite their troubles, force themselves to go to school,
that's the true definition of tough.
For those of you going through a tough time right now I'm sending you a hug,
and I know this may not mean much,
But I just want you to know no matter how dark things get,
you are loved.
please, if you're reading this, don't give up