black & white

janie

the first few hours of trinity's life were calm.

I rested with her laying on my chest, trying to get some sleep, and jack was asleep in a chair beside my bed. we hadn't called anyone. we were just enjoying the peace of no one knowing where we were or what we were doing.

trinity started to cry, and jack woke up.
"do you need me to do anything, jane?" he asked.
"I think she's just hungry," I said, and I started feeding her.
"you know we should probably start calling people and telling them that she's here," he said, yawning.
"what for?" I asked, not seeing the need.

he sat there and watched me for a minute; I finished feeding trinity and gently patted her back.
"you're so relaxed," jack said, in awe of me.
"it's all coming naturally to me," I said. "I'm happy."
"I'm happy too, jane. I love you." he kissed me on the cheek and took our baby into his arms, holding one of her little hands.

"god, she's so beautiful," he said, reclining and bringing her up onto his chest.
"she really is. she's perfect."
I watched him kiss her little forehead, and she whimpered and melted in his arms.
"she's ours, jane. I can't believe it." he rubbed her back and she drifted off to sleep. "why don't you try to sleep too? I'll keep an eye on trinity."

"you're wonderful," I told him, sinking into my bed.
"so are you. you deserve to rest."
he kissed my forehead, and I dozed off.

♤

"please help me into that wheelchair, jack. it hurts to stand," I whimpered, reaching for him. it was time for us to go home, and it wasn't easy for me to get out of bed. my body ached from labor.

he decided to be prince charming for a minute, lifting me out of the bed bride-style and gently sitting me in the wheelchair, kissing my forehead and laying trinity in my arms. he had been so loving since she'd been born, and I couldn't get enough of it. he draped his blue and white jacket over my shoulders to keep me warm and he wheeled me outside.

he helped me into the backseat of his car and I helped him strap trinity into her carseat, and he kissed me again before getting into the driver's seat.

"are you both warm enough?" he asked, cranking the heat up; it was below freezing and snowy.
"yes, we're perfect," I said, pulling trinity's blanket tightly around her and holding her little hand.

next thing I knew we were at home and jack had gotten me into bed; trinity was in her bassinet and his lips were on my neck, giving me soft, gentle kisses.
"I love this attention that you've been giving me, jack," I whimpered, pushing his hair away from his face.
"good, because I love giving it to you," he said, laying down beside me and kissing my ear. "I don't know if it's because of the baby but I've just felt so much love for you in the last couple of days. you're so precious to me, jane. you and trinity both."

just then, trinity started wailing.
"could you please bring her to me?" I asked.
"of course, baby."
he laid her on my chest and I started feeding her, and jack rested quietly beside me.

"jane?"
"yes, baby?"
"you're so perfect. I'm so glad you walked into my life. I love you so much."
"you're going to make me cry, jack. stop it."
"well it's the truth. we have our baby and everything is perfect. you make me so happy. and that brings me to something else."

my heart was pounding and I didn't know why. I finished feeding trinity and gently patted her back. I watched as he looked for something in a drawer in his bedside table.
"jack, what are you doing?" I asked him. I felt nervous.

"just a little something. I've been waiting for the right time and I think that this is it."
he stood up. he had a little velvet box in his hands and he was trembling. "jane, I've loved you for a long time now. I've loved you since the first moment I saw you. you had your yellow dress and your dr. martens on and your hair tumbled down to your waist and I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world, and you are. you're the mother of my third child and I love you. will you be my wife?"

tears welled up in my eyes. he'd gotten down on one knee beside the bed and he was holding the box open, and there was a beautiful diamond ring inside of it. I was sobbing.

"yes," I muttered, barely able to speak.
"please don't cry, janie."
"I'm just so happy."
"I'm happy too. I love you."