black & white

reputation

"jack."
"what?"
"I just needed to make sure you were still there."

"not going anywhere for a long time, babygirl," he said, stretching and reaching for me. he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me close.
it was four in the morning.
"jack?" I said again.
"yeah jane?"
"why me?"
"what do you mean why you?"

I took a moment to compose my thoughts. "you could've had any of those girls down there. why me?"
"because you have depth. those other girls don't."
"is that it?"
"well no. you're smart and beautiful and mature and you're you, that's why I love you."
I felt my cheeks getting hot. "thanks."
"you're welcome. now come here and let me hold you again."

his arms were muscular and strong; I felt safe and protected when he held me.
"don't let go," I said, pressing my forehead to his.
"I'm not planning on it," he said, kissing me before we both succumbed to sleep.

♤

I found myself beneath him only a few hours later; we'd both woken again wanting each other.

"on your back," he ordered, flipping me over and pinning my wrists above my head.
"come on baby, wrap those legs around my waist. you know how much I like that."

he was a little bit rougher with me this time around, and I loved it. I broke my hands free and ran them through his hair, and he pressed his lips to my neck.
"jack," I said as he paused to take a breath.
"yes, baby?"
"I love you so much," I whimpered, pushing his hair out of his eyes.
he took a few breaths before he spoke. "I love you too."
he pressed his body against mine as he started thrusting again, and he slipped his hands beneath me to support my back; I loved when he did this. we were so close to each other and it made the last few moments wonderful.

he rolled off of me and covered himself with the blanket when it was over, and he took a moment to catch his breath.
"that was intense," he muttered, pushing his damp hair away from his face. I snuggled up to him and kissed him on the cheek, and he wrapped his arms around my neck and held me for a moment.

"jack," I whimpered.
"yeah baby?"
"I want to be with you."
he smiled at me. "good."

♤

"you know, it's kind of fun, being in this secret relationship with you. it feels kind of dangerous," I said.

jack and laid side by side in my bed, talking about anything and everything; it was so easy for me to fall into deep conversations with him.

"it does, doesn't it?" he said. "I like the privacy."
I snuggled up to him and took his hand in mine. the guilt was starting to creep up on me again.
"jack?"
"yes, baby?"
"how bad do you think it would be if anybody found out?"
"jane, please don't worry about that. it doesn't matter."

"I can't help it. I just don't want anybody's reputation to be damaged, especially yours. that's all."
"I think you're still worried about what people will think."
"so what if I am?"

"jane, baby, I promise it's fine." his demeanor had changed. "you know, the way you talk about it, I get the feeling that you're ashamed of me, or embarrassed of me."
"no, it isn't that at all," I said. "it's like I said earlier, the power imbalance thing."

"right." he turned over so that his back was facing me, and I sighed.

"fine."