Stuck In Between

Chapter 26

Nicole's POV: 

Sighing to myself from the horror of a night’s sleep in which I was involved in last night I sat up on the bed, reaching for my phone on the bedside table. Only to be face with not even a single message or call, my whole world breaking down before me. All I am asking for is only one little text from Cristiano, one text for him to maybe give me the opportunity to explain the reason as to why he saw what he did between Fabio and I. But can he give me that? No, he cannot. Instead he leaves me heartbroken, not knowing where our future will head. Will it be apart or together? I do not know. But the one thing I can only dream to happen is that we are together, having sorted out our differences over all of this situation once and for all.

Pulling my weak and effortless body out of bed I rubbed my eyes, making my way down the stairs with my phone in hand. Needing one thing and one thing only to hopefully cure how I am feeling in the slightest of ways; a nice, warm cup of coffee. So walking from the stairs to through into the kitchen I came to the realisation that I was alone in here, Mesut nowhere to be seen. And the first thought that came to my mind was training, meaning I have all the house to myself for a few hours more. Walking behind the counter in the kitchen I decided to maybe try Cristiano again, getting him to perhaps consider hearing me out. So leaning up against the kitchen side, I proceeded to write him a text with the feeling of hope within me.

Explaining and near enough pleading to him to give me just fifteen minutes at the very least, so I can tell him why I did what I did with Fabio. That I was vulnerable, he manipulated me in acting that way he did towards me when coming to our, sorry, his house. And it was nothing more than a giant mistake, it did not mean anything to me and still I do not understand why I let him inside in the first place. I love Cristiano – him only, and the last thing I ever want is a realisation that perhaps Fabio has ruined that. Honestly, I do not know how the hell I will be able to cope without Cristiano. Just the thought of no longer having him as mine haunts me.

Finishing typing away the text on my IPhone I placed it down onto the kitchen side and then clicked the small button on the kettle beside me to boil the water, still with my back against the kitchen side as I looked up at the ceiling. The thoughts and images of what happened in that day between Fabio and I running through my mind, the look on Cristiano’s face once he realised exactly what was going on. He had caught us in the act, the act which I do not want to have to ever be reminded of. Unluckily enough for me though it is something that is going to live with me for the rest of my life, something I will not go a day without thinking about in some sort of way. Knowing just how much I hurt Cristiano, the man I love with all my heart.

Hearing the sound of the kettle making its noises in letting me know it was boiled I was soon brought far away from my depressive thoughts, luckily enough for me, and forced back into the face of reality. So turning myself around to face the kitchen side I proceeded in pouring the content of the water inside the kettle into my cup on the side, doing everything slowly in a way of distracting my thoughts. Mixing the content of boiling hot water and coffee using a spoon in the cup I heard my phone go off, stopping me on the spot. Turning my head over to the direction of it I came to terms with the fact of Cristiano’s name being shown here before my very own eyes, in a white bold font. So gulping, I swiped the screen to see what he sent.

But the second in which I saw the nasty text message Cristiano had sent me I really wished I had not even opened it. As there it was, in black and white, him saying how he did not want anything more to do with me anymore. How I broke his trust once so how is he supposed to at least try and trust me? That all I am is a heartless bitch that goes around sleeping with her ex-boyfriend when given the chance, given that I am ‘still in love with Fabio’. Naming as well as shaming me to be nothing than a cheating bitch, with odds on for me to turn around and do it all over again if Cristiano and I ever were to get back together and sort through all that has happened between us. I cannot believe this, I cannot believe he would say such a thing.