Never meant to || fillie

Where is she?

"you know the first time I came to this house, I walked in not knowing how much of my life would be spent here. .. I made new friends that soon became family.. and I met the man id fall in love with. I made everyone come here to share the news about Isabel. We had the baby shower here. This was the first place I brought her. She loves being here. Do you remember when the guys decided to make Finns old room into a little play room for her? I had avoided that room for 3 years and I told you guys I was busy at work and could not help with cleaning it out.. I didn't want to see it and that night when you two dropped her off I found a little black journal in her backpack. it was Finns old song book. It reminded me of the night he told me he made plans for us.. it reminded me of that night when he gave me the ring and told me he loved me... it reminded me of that cold morning i woke up alone. I wanted to throw it away but curiosity got the best of me and I opened it.. the last page said 'I was constructed for you and you were molded for me. Now I feel your name coursing through my veins . you shine so bright its insane. You put the sun to shame' I must have read that a hundred times because I know it by heart . and the bottom of the page was an i love you and forever.. no I'm sorry.. no forgive me no pl-... I stayed up all night looking at the ring . I thought about what he had said to me when he gave it to me. I remember he told me that whoever wore the ring had his unconditional love. There is no doubt in my mind that if he knew about her he would love her . And i felt so guilty for depriving her of her daddy's love that i thought the only way i could make it up to her was by giving her the ring."
No one said a word. Isabel had fallen asleep on the ride back and both Sadie and Liz didn't know what to say ... I didn't even know what to say. 
"She still has the ring?" Liz turned to me from the drivers seat and Sadie just nodded from the passenger seat. " I made it into a necklace for her , see?" I moved my baby's hair out of the way and pulled out the necklace from inside her shirt. "it's beautiful"
I nod and tell them to wait in the car . I have to let him know about her before he meets her so I tell them to give me 20 minutes while I talk to him. As I walk to the door every memory of him comes rushing in. From the first time I saw him to the night he asked me to officially be his girlfriend. I remember when he first kissed me and  the moment I realized I was in love with him . I remember all the good and I push away all the bad memories away for a second .
I knock and Noah opens right away .
"Millie, hi can I talk to you outside?" " I know he's here Noah ok? I just want to get this over with so tell him to go to his old room. I'll be waiting for him there."
He doesn't question me or hesitate to let me in . I don't bother saying hi to Gaten I just walk straight to the room.

I look around and try to imagine how it was before. His desk where her toy chest is. His bed where her doll house  is. His music equipment where her little bed is for her to take naps. And as I look at the butterfly curtains the door opens behind me and I just know without turning that it's him.
"Millie" His voice is shaky and breathless. I don't want to turn around but I know I have to . I have to tell him
"Before we even talk theirs something you have to know." I don't want to face him but I know I have to and it's killing me knowing I have to stare at those eyes that once made me melt. But I know I owe it to my daughter .
I turn and see that his hair is messy which means he kept running his hands through it, probably out of nerves. He's a bit buffer then I remember and he has some stubble on his chin. He's changed so much but his eyes are the thing that captured my  attention.  I can't see the confusion and hope in his eyes. He doesn't say anything . He just nods and takes a step in deeper to close the door" what happened to my room?" Panic sets in as I realize what I'm doing . " Look .. about a month after you left I was getting sick-" at this he looks away and instead looks at his feet. "- Sadie took me to the doctor where he told me I was ok-" " thats good" I raise my hand to let him know I'm not done "- he told me I was pregnant" he snapped his head back and looked at me with a look of what I could assume was shock " pregnant?" I nod my head and don't say a word as I let him come to terms with what I just said. But it looked like nothing was happening. He just stood there looking at me with an unreadable expression
" what happened to the baby?"
" she's 4 and-"
" Why on earth would you keep something so important from me?" He stepped closer raising his voice so I did the same
" I didn't want to ruin your career!"
" ruin me career? You don't get to chose that Millie. I  have a daughter! I would've dropped everything for her"
" YOU LEFT!" I have been holding everything in for so long that everything just came out
" do you know how broken I was? Do you know the pain that you cause me? I was a mess Finn! I wouldn't eat I wouldn't sleep.. For a month I sat in my room crying because the love of my life left me without even saying good bye!"
" I told them to tell-"
" I don't care what you told them Finn the point here is you didn't tell me!" He stepped back and I wiped away a tear that managed to escape
" I didn't want to get in the way of your life. You're career was just starting and you had just gotten that job offer. Millie I didn't want to drag you with me."
" that wasn't your choice to make for me"
" why didn't you tell me" I see the hurt in his eyes and I know I did wrong not telling him. I wanted to swallow my pride but I looked at him and saw her. She's a spitting image of him.
" I thought I was protecting her "
" Protecting her?"
" I didn't want to ruin your career by exposing that you were having a baby that you didn't want ."
" how could you know I didn't want her... I didn't even know she existed"
He has a point in this... in all of this. I was thinking out of anger and I know everyone tried to help but I was just so focused on protecting her from Finn that I didn't really see that I was hurting her too.
" where is she?"
" in the car with Sadie and Lizzie"
" can I meet her?"

I told him to wait in the room while I go get Isabel but I find her in the living room watching cartoons.
" hey baby, you want to come with mommy real quick I want to show you something"
" Millie are you sure?"
I look up at Gaten  whose head is laying on Lizzy's thighs and give him a reassuring smile. Isabel runs towards me and holds my hand.
I stop at the door and pick her up.
" sweetheart do you remember how earlier when I picked you up from school you asked me about your dad?" " yeah!" " do you want to meet him?" She basically jumps out of my arms and opens the door.

Hello it's 2 am and I need to be up by 5 lolololololololol :)

Hope you like it ❤️