Never meant to || fillie

Remember for her

"When your brother and you where younger, I used to take the both of you to a park near down town.  It became a routine, every Sunday I'd drive us to  the park and after we'd stop by for popsicles. But one day,  we decided to walk, and as we were coming up on the park, you noticed a  man sitting across the street with a guitar.  You basically dragged me across the street so you could listen to the man. I got the blues by the Rolling stones . that's the song the man was playing and you insisted on staying until he finished the whole song, all while Nick was pouting because he just wanted to go to the swings. I looked at you and I saw so much wonder in your eyes. You've always been a hyper kid, doing a million things at once, but In that moment you did nothing but look and listen as the man played.  I saw how you instantly fell in love with the music. The very next day I went out and got you your first guitar. That was the best thing I could've ever done, it made you the man you are today. You play as if your life depended on it and honestly I think it does.  I am so proud of the man you are. I am so grateful for that man that  was sitting outside. I'm so grateful for everything in my life and most of all of I'm grateful for  you.  My son. I love you. There is nothing in this  world that could ever change that, okay?"
The man was standing behind the chair that was next to my bed. Tears were running down his cheeks and he looked at me with so much love. With hope that I'd remember this day.
" okay" I breathe out. Feeling a knot in my throat, I can see his heart breaking and it kills me. I don't like seeing him cry.
" I love you son." He said as he walked over to me and pulled me into the tightest hug.
" okay."

" he told you about the guitar didn't he?"
The woman came in. Her eyes were red and swollen but also dark and droopy. She hasn't slept and I can tell.
" that's not the only thing you play. A few weeks after you got the guitar, I sat in the family room. You were coloring with Noah and I just decided to play a bit on the piano. Before I knew it, you were next to me asking me so many questions. You've always questioned everything. And sometimes that's what got you in trouble. Anyway, you asked me if you could play, too. It was like you were born to play because you were a natural. It didn't take long after that for the house to be filled with melodies from either instruments. And then the day you called me and told me you'd finally done it. You accomplished you're dream, I was so proud. I knew you'd be successful, never doubted that for a second. Everything was perfect. I ju- I'm sorry I can't help you baby. I'm so sorry." She was payed next to me caressing my hair. Her words were coming out broken and the knife in my chest just kept twisting.
"My sweet baby boy. My little rockstar. Mommy's here , ok? I'll always be here."
Her hugs weren't as strong as my dad's, but they felt warmer. I hugged her back trying to look for the memory that she was referring to .
" okay."

"When was the last time we even played together?"
He was trying hard to fight back the tears. He also kept trying to fix his broken voice.
" you're asking me?"
It may sound rude to others the way I say it but I can just feel that he would prefer a cheeky remark. And that smile that tugs at his lips proves it.
" how are you feeling baby brother? Everything okay? Has Isabel came in to see you?"
" she hasn't. I think I scared her."
Nick scuffes and walks to sit by my feet. He rubs his head and sighs.
" I wouldn't doubt it. She's a sensitive kid. A lot like her dad."
It's quite for a second. I can tell he wants to say something but just doesn't quite now how to say it.
" did you know?" I ask.
" that you had a kid? No. Well, kind of? I wasn't sure. And I thought it was Millie's place to say something, not me."

" Millie."
" yeah, best friend, mother of your child, love of y-"
" Nick?"
" yeah?"
" are you ok?
Nick seemed really distracted. Almost like he was itching to leave.
" no, my baby brother is laying in a hospital bed and he doesn't even know who i am."
" you're nick."
" that's not what I meant and you know it. .. I just. I want my best friend back. I want to stay up late streaming a new game while we make stupid inappropriate jokes and eat horrible junk food that you keep bringing back for me. I want my baby brother back. Please remember Finn. Remember me. Please."
It's a silent cry. The ones where it hurts to even talk . To breathe. They don't deserve to hurt the way they do. They don't deserve to suffer for me . I'd do anything to make it ok.
" I will. I promise I will." They're empty promises and we both know it, but he accepts it anyway.

"I know I haven't known you for long.  I can't tell you how you got your love for music. I don't even now how you  got that scar on your chin.  I don't know much about you, but what  I do know is that you have the biggest heart out of anyone I know. You put anyone before you. The reason we even met was because you wanted Ayla really wanted to meet and you were determined to find me just to make your friends day. The way you just care for everyone important to you is just amazing. I feel so lucky to be with you. You make me feel so appreciated and you are so caring. I know lately you've been a little off. I noticed and even then you tried to hide it just so I wouldn't worry. I didn't know you then but I know you now. I know you are strong and hard headed. When something comes to mind you'd stop at noting  'till you've accomplished it . Finn. I'm begging you to please try. Try to remember. Do it for that amazing little girl sitting outside. She's the one you need to fighting for. I know you love her. I mean how can you not? So please.remember."
The blonde was standing by the foot of the bed. As expected, her eyes are swollen and she has traces of dried tears on her cheeks.
" you give such high praises."
The cheeky remark makes her smile and it's a bit relaxing.
" god, you make this so hard." She walks over and sits on the chair, immediately intertwining her hand in mine.
" thank you. For being here."
" don't thank me. You, still being here and talking to me, is enough."

"We just got you back man." Caleb, I think, said as the two other boys followed. Each reaching forward for a hug.
" hey I'm here, just not, here here."
" your mom said to talk to you about shared memories."
" go ahead then."
" it's always been the four of us, always. And it's was perfect. From getting expelled for putting gum in Jessica's hair in 5th grade, to being lost for 3 hours because Gaten can't read a map to save his life, to celebrating you and Calpurnia on your success."
" yeah, the 4 founding fathers of the party. And then Noah came in with the biggest change in all our life's."
" Finn. We missed you dude. We're so proud of what you do. And it just. We hate this. The fact that you don't know how amazing your life is. You have a loving family. An amazing career. A beautiful girlfriend with an even more beautiful ex girlfriend, who just so happens to be the mother of your beautiful daughter."
" you also have 3 amazing best friends"
" we missed you."
It's so heartbreaking. To know how much people love you and how they'd do anything for you, and you don't know if you feel the same. I want to feel the same . I desperately want to.

" Richie. I just. Thanks for being ok."
" your Sadie, right?" A tear comes running down her face and she takes in a deep breathe
" call me Annie."
" why Annie?"
" a few months after you and Millie started dating, a movie came out about a killer clown. The party went to go see it and we were kicked out because I couldn't stop laughing . You looked just like the kid in the movie. You obviously disagreed but I kept teasing. Called you Richie for a while. And then one day, I came home with Caleb and as we walked in you turned and called me Annie. I threw my phone at your face. That's why you have that scar. Don't tell the others Richie, but you're my best friend. Well besides Millie. You were there when I was so scared to go out it's Caleb, and you were there when we had our first big fight a few months after. I missed you. I know you're not at your best right now, but I know you will be . Soon. Just please try. For Isabel, she misses her dad."
" is she okay?"
" yeah she's just a bit upset."
The read head sits on my bed . Holding my hand in hers and tries to keep her breathing under control. I can feel the playful fighting. The constant teasing and it makes me feel a bit better.

" can you bring her? I want to talk to her"

#jillieisoverpt2 !