Never meant to || fillie

Fresh in my mind

It's been about 20 minutes and neither of us have said a word. Isabel is on her tablet watching a movie so Finn hasn't turned on the radio. We've been sitting here in silence. Think about the most awkward moment of your life and multiply it by like 100. I'm in truck, next to the man who broke my heart by leaving me with a child and didn't come back for five years.
He didn't know he had a daughter.
That still doesn't make up for the fact that I woke up alone. I could've understood if he would've told me . We could've made it work. Was it so hard to just tell me?
"What?"
" huh?"
" tell you what?"
Oops
" look Millie. I know you don't really want to talk but we have to."
" I know but I just.  I don't want Isabel to hear us screaming at each other . She's seen me mad yeah but she just met you."
"Hey! I don't get mad easily-"
" ok that's true but this particular conversation will."
" ok how about this. Every time we start raising our voice we'll scream eleven. "
"Eleven?"
"As in you're above the scale? You're too much?"
What a dork.
"Ok. So...?"
How can I start this conversation? How am I suppose to tell him that all he had to do was apologize and I'd take him back in a heart beat. How am I suppose to let him know that I'd hoped he never came back because I didn't want him to know about Isabel?
" I don't really know where to start with all of this Finn."
" I guess we can start from the beginning"
It's been a long time and you'd think it wouldn't hurt as much as the first day but it does. My face feels warm and my throat feels like sand paper. My heart aches as I touch my arms and remember what happens the night before. It's vivid now, but what will forever be fresh in my mind is the feeling of waking up alone.
" why didn't you tell me?"
"I was going to at first. I was so excited. I kept thinking about the places we were going to go and all the people we would meet. I was imagining you getting angry if someone got to close and I couldn't wait so I ran to you. That's why I caught up to you and Sadie at the boutique. But then I saw you and I thought  about how I was being selfish. I never expected you to drop everything just to make my dreams come true ."
" I would've. I would've done anything for you Finn. I would've done it for us."
I know that now Millie. But I also know your life was about to begin. You love helping people and I never wanted to take that from you. Millie I always knew you were strong and I knew you would move past it and make life your bitch-"
"Language!"
" sorry. But it's true . I knew you'd be successful in your career, I knew our friends would help you and I knew you would find someone who would stay."
"I never wanted anyone but you! I wanted you to stay! Years of just wishing I'd wake up in that bed again and realizing this was all a dream."
"My intentions we're never to hurt you. My intentions we're to protect you from this life."
" I didn't ask for your protection. I was suppose to make that decision and you took that from me."
" There wasn't a decision to make Millie . I left that day so you wouldn't have to put up with this life."
" oh how thoughtful." If there is one thing Finn absolutely hates is sarcasm. Especially when it's a a serious topic. I should've expected the rise in his tone.
" You act like I'm such a bad guy. You act like I hid a child from you and made ALL the people you love not tell you. You act like YOU didn't take away one of the most precious things life has to offer. I left you. That's it. I left without a goodbye but you knew I was always a call away. But you? You Deprived me of 5YEARS OF HAPPINESS!"
" You did too!"
" no! I always knew you'd find someone else. One thing is knowing you'd find a new man but another is not knowing your a dad. "
" it didn't matter to you then-"
" Because I didn't know!"
"Eleven!" A small voice called from behind.  I turn to see Isabel looking back at me. It broke me. Isabel has very expressive eyes. And right now they show how scarred she is. I see how she's on the verge of spilling tears which makes me finally spill mine.
" hey baby you okay?"
" why do you hate each other?"
" we don't hate each other Bel. We just . We have things we need to talk about."
I nod at Finn and look back at Isabel
" these things we have to talk about don't really make us happy but we have to do it anyway. I'm sorry your dad and I scared you baby."
" do you want to hear a song?"
" what song?"
" when I first saw you, I had this song stuck in my head. This song is about you."
Isabel looks at me and I nod to let her know it's okay. I back around and look at Finn who gives me a small smile.
"There are places I remember
All my life" the Beatles. Of course. It's always the Beatles that pop into his head. "though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all" I can't look away. I've heard his songs over the years and I've heard him do acoustic versions but nothing can ever compare to hearing him like this. Hearing his raw raspy voice and hearing how he sings with so much love. I didn't know how much I missed this.
"But of all these friends and lovers
There is no-one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them"
"In my life I love you more" without a thought we both sing the same line. I feel like I'm on stage next to this guy I met a few days ago but I can't stop thinking about . I feel as if I'm walking with said boy and being confused as to where I was going but feeling happy. I feel like I felt for a whole year after that.
"Did you like the song?"
" I love it! Mommy can you sing the one you're always singing please?"
" which one?"
"Something!"
As soon as she says it I see Finn grow a big smile and I feel my face burst into flames.
" how about we both sing it for mommy?"
That's how we spent the rest of the way to the cabin. Finn sang a few of his songs and I tried to sing along to some of them. It felt great. It felt like we were a family. I can't believe I made us all miss out on this. I wanted this to last forever! And it felt like it would've until we got to the cabin. And I saw something that crushed my hopes.

Uhhh.... I wonder what happens... also don't mind he spelling! It's 3 am okay?
let me know what you guys think of the chapter! ❤️
(Also I won't address the current situation of this fandom because I chose to believe it does not exist)