Her Handsome Monster

Chapter 34

Xena....

Hindi nya alam pero kinakabahan  sya sa sinabi ni Xin.

"Aalis? Saan.....ka pupunta?" Tanong nya.

"Xena..."nag iwas muna ito ng tingin at tila pinipigilang umiyak "I'm leaving ......for good"

Tila tumigil ang mundo. She couldn't speak or utter a single word for a while.

Napalunok sya at pilit pinipigilan ang matinding emosyon na ngayon ay bumabaha na sa kanya.

"I-I......" Tumikhim sya "B-Bakit?" Halos pabulong na tanong nya.

He took a deep breath"It's no longer safe for me  to stay"

"What do you mean? You? How- Diba-"

"Xena....what I mean is......my heart"

Lalo syang naguluhan "Xin naguguluhan ako. Linawin mo please"

"Xena..... Hindi ko alam kung may napapansin ka or what but.... "

"But?" She lick her lower lip "But what Xin?"

"Mahal na kita"

Her heart skipped a beat then it went fast. Tila nabibingi na sya sa ingay non. What he said struck her like a lightning. Muli ay hindi nya alam ang dapat sabihin.

"Mahal na mahal na kita Xena, at pag manatili pa ako dito, baka sa huli pagsisihan ko lang"

Tumulo na ang luhang kanina pa nagbabadya. She's happy and sad at the same time. He loves her! But why is he leaving? Nag iwas sya ng tingin at pinunasan ang luha nya saka muli itong hinarap.

"I-Is loving me a bad thing?" Halos paos na tanong nya

Umiling ito "No! Xena loving you is the most wonderful thing"

"T-Then why do you have to leave? Why can't you just stay? Xin-"

"Xena iba ako. Iba ako sa inyo-"

"I don't care!" She cut him off "So what if you're different?"

"Xena, I love you. I love you so much pero para sayo magkaibigan lang tayo and that's good. Habang hindi pa yan lumalalim i need to leave para hindi pa gaanong masakit"

Her heart is aching. She was silent for a while. "Paano  kung...mahal na rin kita?"

Tila nagulat ito sa sinabi nya "Xena.."

"H-Hindi ako t*nga Xin. I've been denying things for a very long time kahit sinasabi ng lahat ng tao sa paligid ko na mahal kita. Tinatanggi ko lahat yon  dahil natatakot ako na baka umalis ka pag nalaman mo. Pero bakit ngayon aalis ka dahil lang sa mahal mo ako ? Xin, just stay please?"

Ilang butil ng luha ang tumulo mula sa mga mata nito "I can't. Xena para saatin din ito."

"Xin.... No" she wiped her tears and hold his hand "Just stay. H-Hindi ko na kayang wala ka. Ano ng gagawin ko? "

He kissed her hand "Kaya mo. Kakayanin mo"

Umiling sya "Hindi mo naman kailangang umalis eh. I don't care if your different. Is my love not enough?"

"Xena your love is more than enough. It's just that..... Pano kung naging tayo? Pano kung magkapamilya tayo? I will spend my whole life watching my family die. People will ask questions about me,anong sasabihin natin?"

Umiling sya. It was a selfish answer but he's right. It will be painful for him. If she will ask him to stay she will become more selfish. But she just can't live without him. Not now, never.