Her Handsome Monster

Chapter 37

Xin's POV

Three weeks without her is like hell. It hurt so much, he missed her badly. Iniisip nya kung kumusta na kaya ito. Kumakain kaya ito? For the past weeks lagi lng nananakit ang puso nya. Hindi lang sya ang nahihirapan. He could feel that Xena is also having a hard time.

He's always distracting his self para hindi maalala ang dalaga but almost everything reminds him of her. He would become emotional pero lagi nyang pinipigilan ang sarili na umiyak. He has to be strong and try living without her. But those three weeks are torturous. Paano nalang ang mga darating pang araw at taon? Makayanan kaya nya ang hindi ito makita?

He opened his phone at bumungad sa kanya ang nakangiting litrato ni Xena.

Napakuyom sya. Dr. Solis hasn't given up in him. He's been setting traps for him. Buti nalang at naging maingat sya. Kaya kailangan din nyang lumayo kay Xena. Baka madamay ito sa kagahaman ng doctor.

He stared blankly at the food in front of him. He couldn't eat much. Sanay na syang laging kasama ang dalaga pag kumakain. Usually he would skip his meals and just do something else.

He sigh. As he close his eyes si Xena ang pumasok sa isip nya. He wants to see her badly. He wants her, he wants to listen to her voice, he want to make her coffee, send her to school, make her experience things she hasn't experienced yet. Pero hindi na pwede. Kung babalikan nya ito,masasaktan lang sya lalo sa huli. He remembered what Xena said before.

Hindi ba pwedeng ako nalang ang maging selfish saatin?

He took a deep breath. Those words struck his heart that day. Kung mawawala si Xena sa kanya in the future, it would definitely break him more. Bakit hindi nalang kase nya ibigay ang nararapat para sa dalaga. While they are still together he could make her the happiest woman. Bakit nya ba kase iniisip ang future kung mas importante ang kasalukuyan? Why couldn't he take the freaking risk?!

Nahampas nya ang table sa harap nya. It broke into two.

Maya maya ay naramdaman nya ang biglang pagkabilis ng tibok ng puso nya. It was Xena. Something is going on. Maybe she's having an emotional break down. Pero nalarma sya nang biglang humina iyon and followed by a pain. It was abnormally slow, is she dying?

Kinabahan sya bigla. She can't. What's going on? Without a second thought mabilis nyang pinuntahan ito. Napakalayo ng lugar nya but with his unhuman strength mabilis nya lang itong mapupuntahan. Damn with the freaking pain and future. He will see her. He stop with his track when he saw Xena being carried from afar while her wrist is bleeding and covered with towel.

Did she.....

Napaluhod sya sa nakita. Why? Why did she try to kill herself! Bakit hindi nya kinaya? Bakit kailangang mangyari to? Hindi dapat ganito. It's all his fault. Sinundan nya ang mga to hanggang sa hospital. Mula sa kalayuan ay hinihintay nyang matapos ang mga doctor. He is silently praying for her safety. Kung pwede lang nyang ibigay ang immortality sa dalaga gagawin nya.

Sa sobrang tagal nyang maghintay napansin nya ang ibang pasyente. One couple caught his attention. The guy is lying weakly in the bed habang hawak ng ng kasintahan nito ang kamay nya. He's a cancer patient around stage three or four. The woman stayed by his side and made him happy despite of the situation.

Right at that moment he envy them. He felt like a coward for what he did. Those couple only has months or maybe a year to be together but the woman chose to stay and made him happy.

Pero sya, heto takot na baka masaktan sya pag nawala na si Xena. They still have years to be together pero mas pinili nyang iwan ang dalaga. Napapikit sya at hinayaan ang luhang tumulo. Bakit nya nagawa iyon? Kung hindi sana sya umalis sana masaya silang dalawa ngayon at wala sa lugar na ito.