The Kissing Booth - The First Year

All about thrust - Noah

While Elle was in the shower I layd down on the bed and started to think about everything that had happened on this fateful night, I really did not want to be extremely jealous and wild, but every time I thought about how much I loved this girl and how I did not want her to be hurt by any kind of idiot, my heart felt like it was going to explode.

It was not about being a controlling boyfriend, just about being afraid of what could happen if someone hurt her ... if I knew she got hurt for some reason, even the stupidest, I'd be very angry and yes, it would be extremely difficult to control my anger and willingness to break anyone's neck. *metaphoric speaking*

But that was not right, I was so focused these last few months on the promises I made to Elle, that I had to be careful and not become just the idiot who could hurt his feelings ... and today, I ad been exactly this foolish, the one that had hurt the person who made me the happiest lucky guy in the world, the one I wanted to protect the most. She was sad... I really needed to control myself and make her forgave me.

And yet there was the misfortune of Elle's meeting with Sharon and the biggest lie she told Elle. Of course, this had only made everything worse at the time, and I now hoped Elle would believe that I was not this troublemaker at Harvard.

The sound of the water stopped, she would leave the bathroom soon ... I took a deep breath and chose to be the guy she wanted, calmer, centered and confident, or, in fact, the only thing I could do if I did not act that way she wanted, would be to lose her.

The door opened, "Hey, you can go now, sorry for taking so long, I needed this," she smiled but still not very enthusiastically.

I got up, took off my shirt ... she looked at me, I rehearsed a smile and she smiled back, I wanted to kiss her, but I did not do anything. We had to talk first, that's what she wanted and needed, so I went to the bathroom.

"I will not take long, okay?" I smiled again and she nodded

I waited for her to drop the towel, just to look at her perfect body... I closed the door and went into the shower.

She was lying on the bed, face down, but looked at the door when I opened it and smiled, once more I was out of breath. I put on my underwear and when I dropped the towel, I heard her deep breath. I lay down next to her and looked into her eyes, those gorgeous blue eyes and decided to start talking. "I stayed here thinking about everything while you were taking a shower, I know I screwed up our night and did the only thing I do not want anyone to do: I was the one responsible for hurting you today, I'm an idiot for being that jerk and I'm sorry for everything."

"Remember when I said you could do anything?" 

Of course, she was talking about my explosive temper... I nodded and she continued

"Tonight I thought I really could be wrong. You frightened me with your uncontrollable fury, without thinking rationally the moment you punched Warren, and again, when you met me at Pier, you gave that look with the same fury in your eyes after seeing Tuppen, just because you assumed we could be together." She paused for a moment and looked right into my eyes, I could see my reflection in her eyes, she breathed and continued, "They turned black with dilated pupils... For a moment I was afraid, really scared ... and I do not want to be afraid of you, or to be afraid to do something that might drive you crazy ... this is not good for either of us." She stopped again and ran her hand through my hair, mine fringe was falling in my eyes ... "If we want to make this relationship work, or rather, if you really want us to be together, you will have to trust me, trust in my choices and instincts. You'll have to accept that sometimes I'm going to make wrong choices, and if I have to face it and maybe get hurt, it will be part of my life, and a way to grow. You can not protect me from the world, I'm not made of glass ... and I need experiences that make me grow up"

My mouth opened, but I could not say a word, listening to what she was saying, I realized how much she really is not naive, and at the same time how mature she became... so many times I said she would have much to learn, and it was she, who at that moment, showed me who was in need of learning something. I would have to be different if I did not want to lose her.

"Shelly, you're right ... sometimes it's a lot stronger than I am, this feeling of overprotection that I have with you, from when we were kids and I was defending you and Lee, and then when you started to become this beautiful woman..." I breathed and ran my hand through her hair. "I'm going to be different, I do not want to lose you." A tear rolled from my eyes, his soft finger touched my face and dried it.

"I do not even want it to happen, but I will not endure any other fight or any other way to control me like I'm a baby, please trust me or we will have no other way but to separate. Promise that you're really going to try." 

"I promise, I never want to hear you say that you were afraid of me again, I love you." I could not stop myself, I kissed her passionately and she kissed me back. 

Our choice was to stay together and love each other.