The Kissing Booth - The First Year

One last breath - Elle

As soon as he got in the bathroom I cried even more ... I was so sure he was going to break up with me that I could not even breathe, the air just disappeared. I laid down on his bed and cried, sobbed ... it was hurting a lot, I didn't go after him, I knew that being alone was just what he needed ... and what would I have to do to make him forgive me? I had been an idiot ... not just with him, with Joe as well.

I grabbed my cell phone and texted Lee: "I just dropped the bomb ... the explosion was devastating ... I do not know what he's going to do. I'll talk to you tomorrow... on the phone or in person, if he breaks up with me then I'll be back in LA sooner. I love you" and he replied just a minute later, like he was just waiting my text "I hope you two find a way to forgive and understand each other. I love you too and I will be here if you need me. "

I put the phone away and my tears didn't stop ... I kept sobbing and didn't realize when I fell asleep. I had the most painful dream of all times with Noah. He had brokeup with me, and he was dating a famous super model and playing football in the New England Patriots. The only way to see him was on TV, when the team was playing or on some holidays when he used to come home ... but he didn't even talk to me, just hi and bye, completely formal, and every time I stayed in pieces. With that last goodbye in my dream I woke up, I was sweating... it was 4 in the morning and the bathroom door was open. I looked at the side of the bed and he was there, lying in the sleeping bag. His eyes were closed, but by the way he was breathing, I could tell he was awake... I got up and went into the bathroom.

When I left, he was sitting on the bed and looked at me.

"I heard you got in the bathroom... I ... I can not sleep Elle. I close my eyes and see you with Joe." His eyes were filled with tears again.

"I don't know what to say, I understand you, Noah, I had the same reaction when I saw the pictures, I was thinking about you with Cindy, because I also remembered when you told me you slept with her and I almost went crazy about it. Once again ... I'm sorry. " there was nothing else I could do but say again that I was sorry

I sat on the bed in front of him. He held my hands for a long time, and then he hugged me, crying a lot. At this point I did not cry, I just held him close to me, running my fingers through his hair.

He laid on the bed and pulled me close to him, he hugged me so tight that I was almost breathless, but I did not complain... he needed me there, close, and I was so afraid of losing him that I didn't made any movement... I just straightened up and stood there with him, not speaking at all, just at the sound of our breathing. In a little while, we fell asleep...

I opened my eyes and the room was still a little dark, I heard the rain falling on the window. Noah was still hugging me and sleeping, I just smelled his arms around me, oh boy I loved his scent... I was still very scared of what would happen, he did not say anything else, so I didn't even know if he would forgive me. I would have to wait for his decision, it was his turn now, and I really felt the weight he must have felt on that day when we argued about Sharon when I found out she was living here. *You got it Rochelle, congratulations on the selfish attitude* my inner voice was right ... I did not shut her up this time.

Noah's arms tightened on me... I looked into his face, his eyes were now open, looking at mine.

"Hi..." that was the only thing I could whisper

"Hi ... I only slept when I hugged you and I felt your heart beating along with mine ..." his eyes were looking at me so deeply that I became dizzy... he had that power

"Same with me... I don't know how to explain it, but your embrace made me feel calm..." I needed to finish the sentence by asking what he was going to do, but I couldn't.

"We have to go get breakfast in the cafeteria, there's nothing here ..." he was not expecting me to show up in Boston, that I understood

"I'm not hungry Noah, I just need to stay here with you." Now I was running my fingers through his hair. Twenty minutes passed by and we kept on staring and caressing each other.

"I have to take a shower and we need to go eat something... I'm starting to feel hungry ..." he said

"Ok ... but first ..." I paused for a moment looking into his eyes and then into his mouth. "Can I kiss you?"

He said nothing, he just placed his lips against mine and kissed me, first softly and when I grabbed his neck everything intensified, his arms tightening me even more. We were kissing for the whole eternity, or so I thought it was. When we stopped he said again that he needed to take a shower and I let him go. He didn't call me to go with him and I did not ask either.

While he was in the shower I called Lee "Hey Shelly, how was the night? Or better... how are things now? "

I told him everything that had happened. "And now he's taking a shower... but I really don't  know what's going to happen... he didn't say he forgave me until now, and I'm really scared of what can still happen. "

"Let's wait, okay? Don't pressure him... will you come back only tomorrow? "

"Yes ... my flight is at 4:00 p.m., so I should arrive around 6:30 p.m. in LA ... are you going to pick me up?"

"Of course, my dear, I will be your driver. Take care Shelly, I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay? "

"Ok Lee, thanks ... bye."

Noah came out of the bathroom and smiled at me... but it was not that beautiful smile. I smiled back.

"Well ... I'm going to take a shower now, okay?" I got up and was grabbing my things, he came from behind and hugged my waist

"Ok ..." he turned me over and kissed me, I almost got lost on the way to the bathroom.

The moment I left, he was still in his towel, lying on the bed and looked at me.

"Are you going to eat dressed in a towel?" I had to tease him

He laughed "No ... I was too lazy to dress and decided to lay here, that's all." I lay down beside him, he turned and kissed me passionately.

An hour later we stopped and he said, "Well, now I need another shower," he smiled

"Yeah ... me too," I smiled, "but now we can take a shower together... can't we?" I tried to act normally, after we perfectly understood each other under the sheets, I was very hopeful that all the bad feelings were really over and that he was finally going to forgive me

"I think it's best not to, or we're probably not going to get out of the bathroom and I'm really starving now." He got up, smiled, and went into the shower again ... but left the door open and I went into the bathroom and kept looking at him while he was showering. How I loved him ... I was really hoping things would get better. He was quick this time.

"You can come now, the water is too good" he left, gave me a quick kiss and smiled

I went in and I was very fast too, we got dressed and went to lunch... It was not breakfast time anymore.

Over lunch we talked about a lot of things, including the movie we saw the day before with Alice and Will, we didn't talk about ourselves but I was feeling a little more confident since our lunch was going so well. This was one of the things I loved about Noah, we always had a lot to talk about, even though we had different tastes for music, movies and everything, we always found a way to understand each other, respecting each other's taste. 

"I didn't talk to Will today, but I think they'll understand us being alone ... I mean ... I was missing you so much and they know you're going home tomorrow, so it's okay if skip calling him today... let's have a day for us, what do you think? "his smile and his dimples were back

"I completely agree, sir ... and what do you want to do after lunch?" I smiled back and kissed him quickly.

"I was thinking of going to the grocery store and buying some wine and something to eat later, and since it is very cold outside, stay in bed watching TV, anything you want, I promise I will not be critical of your choices, what do you think?"

"It could not be better ..." I hugged him and he smiled again.