All for You.

Chapter 47 - Late June

Chapter 47 - Late June

— Tris

"If I had known, I would have never gone out to fight. I would have never put him or her in that line of fire, oh my god, I didn't even do anything to protect them, I didn't know there was anything that needed protecting!" I uncontrollably sob into Tobias's chest.

I woke up during the night gaining more memories from my time training alongside Derrick. How to hold the pipes that they fight with, and how I first began learning how to swing.

Then I remembered the events of the day before.

I should have been protecting my abdomen more.
There was so many times I could have lost my baby during that attack.

"When the Candor prison was broken into, I was kicked so many times. I could've protected my stomach! But I didn't!"

"Beatrice, you have to look at me," he pulls my face up to his, and I feel myself shaking.

"Our baby is okay, it's safe, and healthy, and growing strong," his hand finds its way to my abdomen and lightly caresses it.

I slowly nod.
But I'm still stressed.

He releases me slightly, and almost robotically I get out of bed and go to the living room and pace.

I use to pace all the time during the Faction War.
And when I was in pain healing from surgery.

"Tris, where are you going?" I hear Tobias call.

I keep walking back and forth.

There has to be something wrong.
I could have protected him or her.
I was injured so badly, there's no way they're okay.

"Tris, what the hell?" He leans on the doorframe. "You can't do this, you'll end up needing surgery on your leg."

"It's just walking, Tobias," I feel my voice faint and quiet.

He sighs and I feel guilty. He's tired, he has to work tomorrow, and I'm here keeping him awake with my problems.

"Come here," he opens his arms and I lean on him, the tears flowing endlessly. He holds me close, his one hand stroking my hair.

"It's all going to be alright," he says, and I believe him.

He helps me back in bed and I sleep curled up onto him for another hour before morning sickness takes over my body.

At least I know what's causing this now.

I hurl into the toilet, wishing this would end. I feel Tobias next to me, but I don't get a chance to look at him as I violently release my stomach into the toilet.

"I love you," he whispers when he helps me up off the floor to brush my teeth. I begin to feel better when I splash water on my face and remove the terrible taste from my mouth.

"Good morning," I press my lips to his when I meet him in the kitchen, finally feeling like myself again.

"Hey. What time is your appointment?"

"At ten thirty, why?"

"Are you sure you don't want me to go?"

"You can go and sit in the waiting room if you want, Tobias, but there's not going t be anything fun like on the ultrasound. They're going to do a pelvic exam and maybe give me some meds for the morning sickness and prenatal vitamins."

"Okay."

I make myself a bagel with peanut butter on it and sit down across from Tobias at the table.