All for You.

Chapter 32 - Safe

Chapter 32 - Safe

— Tris

"So to my assumption, you can't feel any of this on your leg?" Dr. Scott comments, running the ultrasound over my calf.

"I kind of feel the wand pushing, but nothing else."

I see the muscles in my leg on the small machine as she runs the wand back and forth over my tissue. She points out the fine lines where torn muscle has healed, and the few places where it will remain unhealed unless something drastic happens that I need to have another surgery.

"Is it those small unhealed spots causing the bad pain I still have?"

"It surely could be, but I think that this might be the culprit." She runs her finger along the screen on a lighter layer above my muscles below the skin. "Tendinitis has developed since you've been walking. It's mainly just lactic acid build up in your calf from being immobile for so long, and then walking now in the boot. I'm going to have you stop using the boot and get to normal walking with crutches if you need."

"So I don't use this anymore?" I motion to my boot.

"Use it to get home, but no. If you do want more protection on it, you could use an ace bandage or some kind of brace from a pharmacy, but make sure it doesn't compress on your calf too much if you choose to get one. I'd recommend not completely using the full range of your ankle yet, but just slowly using your leg more regularly with the help of crutches should help your pain in the long run. It's going to be a hard adjustment though, and your pain will probably get worse before it gets better. Nothing I haven't told you before though," she smiles at me.

She removes the wand and hands me a towel to wipe my leg knowing I really don't fancy her wiping it herself.

"Now, about what you were telling me earlier," she refers to the memory I was telling her about, and about my concern of my heart stopping in my fifth year returning home.

"It kills me to say, but I legally can't prescribe you any heart attack prevention drugs without symptoms or past symptoms of any heart attack. Unless the bloodwork we just ran shows any kind of drug that you're saying you remember receiving, I just cannot give you anything for no reason without my position being in question."

"But my heart stopped twice four years ago, doesn't that count?"

"It wasn't from any kind of cause, Tris. I remember it clearly because of how strange it was. One second your heart was strong and beating, your blood pressure and heart rate was fine, and then you were flatlining. No one here had ever seen anything like it, and then the same thing happened to you not even a week later. Your file doesn't show a heart attack because we didn't know how to diagnose it. I'm sorry Tris, but I just can't do anything about it unless your bloodwork comes back showing something."

She clicks around on her computer and I sit in frustration, wiping the gel from the ultrasound off my calf and pulling down my jean pant leg and putting on my walking cast.

"Your bloodwork came back, and everything looks alright Tris. I'm still seeing the drug I gave you for your eyesight in the workup, which is good, surely better than you being blind. Your iron is fine, and if it wasn't I would've suspected future problems, but everything looks fine, great actually."

"Well, I guess that's good."

"It really is. I will have you come in for more frequent bloodwork if you're seriously concerned. Whatever you're comfortable with and whatever I can do, I am happy to help. If this is the case and you're worried about your heart stopping again, we should see it in your bloodwork, or you will find you have an extreme amount of fatigue beforehand. Call me if you ever have serious fatigue, or just go right to the dauntless infirmary and have them transfer you here. I don't want you to think that I'm taking your memory lightly, because I'm surely worried as well. We will do bloodwork monthly, if that's alright, and that will show any signs you're worried about before you would even notice. I don't want this to ruin your life Tris, but I need you to trust that I believe you and what you're saying. You have to trust that I'm going to watch you and take care of you, alright?"